Grizzly – Yellowstone

Entering Yellowstone

Well listen folks. I’m pretty cheesed off right now. I thought we had a deal. You knew our primary destination was Yellowstone National Park. We talked about it before I left. The deal was that we don’t talk about Yellowstone. It’s like the rules in Fight Club.

Rule number 1. Don’t talk about Yellowstone.

Rule number 2. Don’t talk about Yellowstone.

Well some of you blabbed and I think I know who it was, but the bottom line was somebody opened their big fat mouth and told somebody who told somebody and now everybody in the whole damn world knows about Yellowstone and was there. Everybody! There were people there from Sri Lanka for cripes sake, and India and China and Massachusetts. Well all I can say at this point is “Thanks a lot blabbermouths.”

It took hours just to get in the park due to all the inconsiderate people who had gotten up early and into line ahead of us. They couldn’t just pay their money and go through though, No, they had to ask the gate attendants stuff like

“Is this the way into the park?” “Yes, That’s why the big sign there says Entrance.”

“Why does it cost so much?”  ” It doesn’t. 97.00 dollars please.”

“Where can we see the bears?” ” Over by that big tree near the river. Next Please!”

And !   I’m not done yet, because there were so many people there in the park you had to take a number to see even the small attractions like the coyote or the Marmots. Don’t even think about seeing any of the big stuff like Grizzlies or Wolves. Those were “E” ticket attractions and they had even quit posting the time it would take you from where you were, to where you might see the attraction if you didn’t faint or die of hunger before you got there. There was a grizzly at Roosevelt junction and the line to see it stretched back from there, over Tower road and Mt. Washburn, clear back to the restrooms in Canyon, a distance of like, 17 miles, and they were full. The restrooms I mean. How can an entire 80 passenger bus all have to go the bathroom at the same exact time?

This was the first time our credentials for being the premier scientific organization in the western speaking world failed us. The Institute, normally a name that stops people cold, and fills them with amazement not to mention awe, just didn’t work. Even though we have satellite operations and affiliates in the Far East those people from Sri Lanka had never heard of us and quite frankly just didn’t care. It was one of more humbling experiences of the entire trip so far.

So how’d we get the picture of the grizzly shown above then, you might ask. What happened was we blew a  gasket on the hot water heater in the Bokeh Maru, making it almost impossible to make tea so we immediately called AAA. Fortunately for us there was one of their tow trucks immediately in front of us and he hooked us up. As he was stuck in the same line to see the grizzly too, we just went along hooked to the back of his un-tuned, exhaust belching diesel, and after four grueling hours cooped up with what was left of our crew, they weren’t allowed to ride on top per usual as a safety precaution in case the bear tried to eat one of them so they had to ride inside with us, we saw the bear. We were only allowed 3 minutes to see it before the bear attendant came along and made us leave. Luckily we got a few pictures. I’m not even sure that’s a real bear but the guy in the hat said it was, so I guess we have to go with that. I wish it had moved around a little though.

The tow truck driver was bound and determined to tow us up the 73 miles to Livingston so we could get our hot water heater fixed, but it turned out that the whole problem was one of our porters had managed to kick the breaker off with his stupid bare foot and once we threw him off into the bushes and flipped the breaker back on the problem was fixed. There was a slight incident with the tow truck driver wanting to be paid some exorbitant fee for taking us passed the bear so we could get a picture, but Big Lemon sorted that out and we were on our way again.

We’re scheduled back in the park tomorrow and if conditions don’t approve and we don’t start getting shown the respect I believe we deserve, that may be our last day in Yellowstone National Park this trip. So we’re going to be up and loaded and on the road again at the crack of ten and hopefully we’ll have a more productive day. Stay tuned.