The following is an interview with Inferenzo di LaEmblanado y Carisimo one of the last of the pure white horses bred on the famous Lipizzaner-Camarillo horse farm near Amdolado, Spain. Shortly after World War ll as many Lipizzaner and Camarillo pure white horses that were still alive were gathered and sequestered high in the Pyrenees mountains just south of the Port d’Envalira, the highest pass in Spain. There a breeding program was set up to develop a new breed of snow-white horses. Inferenzo di LaEmblanado y Carisimo  was the result of that program.

He was the only foal born to Pajarita di LaEmblanado y Carisimo, a beautiful Camarillo mare, and Infiercezo di LaEmblanado y Carisimo, a Lipizzaner stallion, before they were tragically killed in an avalanche while trying to cross the Port d’Envalira pass during a raging snow storm. This left Inferenzo orphaned and left to his own devices. Without guidance and direction by any parents, his primary caretakers Jesuit priests brought in from the French side of the Pyrenees, who although they had much experience with breeds such as the larger Belgian plow horses, were woefully ignorant of the delicacies needed to raise the temperamental and high-strung Inferenzo. This terrible catastrophe ended the attempt to bring together the Lipizzaner and Camarillo white horse lines and the program was halted until Inferenzo came of age.

Inferenzo, who will be identified by his nickname ‘Iberio’ for the sake of brevity, has graciously consented to this interview, one of the few he has granted in recent years to chronicle his life since leaving the farm and the Jesuits. Some of his answers will be shocking, even painful to hear as we delve into his departure from conventional horse society.

The interview follows.

The Institute (TI for the sake of brevity) : Iberio, thank you for joining us this afternoon. We’re grateful you decided to speak to us.

Iberio: It is my pleasure. Did you bring that hay additive you said you’d provide me?

TI: Yes we did. We’ve never bought Hay additive on the street corner before.

Iberio: Yes, well it is not government approved yet so I must obtain it where I can.

TI: You stated in your book “INKED” that life was difficult for you while you were with the Jesuits. Why was that?

Iberio: Those guys were freaks, man. They did some really weird stuff to me. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and bolted.

TI: Can you tell us some of the things that they did?

Iberio: There was this one guy who was always smoking this stuff. It sorted of smelled like burning hay but not quite. He’d come in to the stable late at night and blow that smoke up my nostrils until I passed out. I don’t know what he did to me after but I would really feel funny the next morning.

TI: Whoa, Iberio, what did you do about it? Did you tell anyone?

Iberio: I tried to but it turned out the others just laughed about it. Turns out that they weren’t Jesuits at all. They just wore those robes so they could get jobs and free food. That’s when I bailed. The owners were absentee owners and rarely came to the farm. It all hit the fan when I left and the owners found out. Turns out I was worth a few bucks and they stood to lose a pile if they couldn’t find me.

TI: What did you do? Where did you go?”

Iberio: I hid a lot. I’d hang around farms kinda blending in with the other horses, scoring what hay I could. The real problem was that evil bastard who blew smoke up my nose got me hooked on that Hay Additive and I needed it bad. I had no way of getting it until I came up with the idea of disguising myself and sign on with various low rent jobs.

TI: Like what ? How did you disguise yourself.
I knew I had to change my look. I was a pure white horse. I stood out like Donald Trump’s comb over. That’s when I saw the tattoo parlor.

TI: We’ve been dancing around that one for awhile, now we have to ask. Dude, what happened to you?

Iberio: I went in for just a few little things. Something like a ring around my eye or maybe a saddle tattooed on my back, just something to break up all the white. Then it got nuts.

TI: What do you mean. It got nuts?

Iberio: I had been hitting the supplement pretty hard and I don’t know how to explain this, but it felt good. The needle felt good. It became my friend and I couldn’t stop. I wanted to completely cover my entire body and become a black horse. Nobody notices a black horse, but I was too far into the Hay Additive to have enough money for the total cover up and stay wasted all the time too. So we hit on the alternate stripes. Maximum coverage, cheapest way.

TI: My God dude. Didn’t you realize that was permanent?

Iberio: Well yeah. But in for a penny in for a pound. I went on and had my mane done, a muzzle job, a few piercings, my legs shortened some and that’s where I am now. I hang around with the kids near the railway station. Nobody notices me with those guys. Some make me look conservative.

TI: Amazing. What’s next? Where do you go from here ?

Iberio: I knew I was getting in too deep with everything I was doing, especially the Hay Additive, and I fell in with a bunch of hippie horse traders. They took care of me for a while, kept me topped off with the supplement, and convinced me they were going to get me into a treatment center. The treatment center was a joke, I wound up giving pony rides to kids all summer long, then they said I was ready to go to a halfway house. Halfway house my ass, it was a zoo. I mean literally, a zoo. They sold me and now I’m here for the duration.

TI: Isn’t there anything you can do? Tell somebody, get a lawyer, escape?

Iberio: No, looked into all that. It was a valid contract. You can sell horses. And after all that’s what I am. I just look different.

TI: Thanks for the interview Iberio. Wish we could do something for you. Maybe this story will help.

Iberio: Yeah man, thanks. Listen I got more to tell you, really juicy stuff, lots of sex and violence, but you got to bring me more of the additive. At least a gallon container. Seriously. Bring it in your camera bag that way the guards won’t notice it. OK? Next week. I’ll tell you about the time they took me to Tijuana. That’s some heavy stuff. Next week right? OK see ya.

That concludes our interview with Inferenzo di LaEmblanado y Carisimo one of the last of the pure white horses bred on the famous Lipizzaner-Camarillo horse farm. Sadly we were unable to continue our interviews with him as our intern who was sent to get the Hay Additive approached a Spanish undercover Narcotics officer and is now serving 15 to 20 in a Spanish prison. We were barred for life from the zoo and have had all contact cut off with Iberio. We have been trying to get one of our other interns hired on as a caretaker but so far they’re on to us. We will try to bring you more interviews in the future but right now that looks iffy.