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There has been a lot of speculation about the ancient ones and their buildings. What were they used for and why so elaborate. After many hours of close inspection and sifting through countless clues we have determined that their buildings were actually art galleries. And what’s more we have conclusively determined that their medium of choice consisted mainly of stones, rocks actually.

We wondered at the fact that everything they built was constructed of rocks, really pretty ones, apparently picked out for their color and texture and then stacked one on top of each other until an entire pile of rocks was formed. The art itself was seeing how many shapes and styles of buildings or constructs if you will, they could make using this technique. Once they completed a pile that satisfied them they would move on and start another pile. Entire village-like displays were created using this method. We have mistakenly identified them as cities but now we know better. There is an old, old word that these people used to describe their constructs, Be-Bih-Zihde, which loosely translated might mean Art Gallery, or possibly deer liver, we’re not sure because there aren’t that many of those old people left to ask.

As you can see by the layout of these Art Galleries, the people who lived there would enter and slowly make their way through the various galleries, oohing and ahhhing as they went, traveling from room to room or gallery to gallery as it were, until they got sick of it and went outside for a smoke. What they smoked was something called peyote or as it was known to the non-existent white man at the time as white mule, devil’s root or Indian dope. Ingesting even small amounts of this Chihuahuan weed made them silly, but hungry for more art, and back into the gallery they would go. That’s why there is such a profusion of these ‘dwellings’ scattered all over the place. It may also indicate why we can’t locate any of these Anasazi’s today. Apparently prolonged use will make you forget your own belly-button and they just wandered away and were never heard from again. We will take that theory up for further review at a later date. We have been told in interviews with that fringe element that lurks near the edges of our society and who regular use this dangerous but illegal drug, that viewing these rocks that make up their art galleries while under the influence of this psychoactive narcotic was groovy. We are still investigating ‘groovy’ and it’s implications to this study.

We do know this however, and we cannot stress it enough that you should never ever take any of this ‘peyote’ if you want to live a normal life. It is a dangerous, misunderstood drug that will get your lame ass thrown in any number of Mexican jails and is expensive to boot. One of our informants stated that he personally had tried this drug and threw up all over his new corduroys. That alone should be a warning to you. Just say no.

Solving one of these great archaeological mysteries has been very rewarding for us and we welcome the opportunity to do more work in this area. Before taking on another project however we still have to find two of our researchers, both of whom did not listen or equally important understand our warnings to avoid this peyote drug at all cost. One we know is in a Mexican jail near Ensenada and the other dipstick was last seen heading off into the desert looking for his shoe.

No mystery is too big or too small for us to take on. We welcome all challenges and face the unknown fearlessly ( if you don’t count going to a Mexican jail or losing a shoe, fears) and look forward to our next adventure. See you there.