As we are the premier go-to place on the web for questions about animal behavior, we at The Institute constantly get letters and phone calls, texts and emails, even telegrams. People often shout at us as they drive by asking us questions about the things animals do. One of the most frequently asked questions is “How do bull elk scratch their…..”  I mean, “Why are bull elk antlers so big and long?”

For a long time we didn’t know. Didn’t have a clue. It seemed like an incredible disadvantage in fact having antlers that were like four or five feet long. The disadvantages seemed legion. When they travelled they always had to rent a convertible regardless of the weather, they couldn’t use the public facilities as the doors were too narrow, everything they wore had to be button up no trendy pullovers, other bulls would see them and immediately want to fight. It seemed like a bad joke had been played on them by Mother Nature.

Then late one afternoon in a meadow far, far away a small band of bulls appeared and began grazing. It was mid-summer in Yellowstone and although their antlers were reaching their full growth they were still covered with velvet and they hadn’t yet begun to form the needle sharp points that would make them so deadly in just a few weeks time.

What we didn’t know but were soon able to find out by listening to snippets of their conversations, was that growing those antlers with all that fuzz on them made them itchy. Really, super itchy, like when you think there’s tick on you but you can’t find it, only like a thousand times worse. They itched everywhere. On their backs, on their sides, behind their ears, even the bottom of their feet itched. They were itchy.

Then one of them, unable to get to the privacy of the tree line, couldn’t stand it anymore and even though he was in full public view, modesty be damned, he answered our question. This is why bull elk grow their antlers so long. No doubt anymore. This is why. So, indelicate as it appears, it is necessary, and if you ladies out there in webland have any doubts about this ask your significant other, for those of you whose significant other is male that is, and he will verify it. When you itch you got to scratch. Simple but most truths are. I hope we’ve answered your question once and for all and your curiosity is finally satisfied. This is what we do here, remember we’re from The Institute and we’re here to help.