National Pretty Picture Day is a holiday we started here at The Institute to celebrate pretty pictures. “Don’t we have way too many freaking holidays now?” you might ask if you got them off without pay. But what would you say if every National Pretty Picture Day was not only a paid holiday but you’d get triple or even quintiple time for it. That’s right fellow workers quintiple your normal pay just because it was National Pretty Picture Day. Bet you’d like the hell out of it then.

That’s exactly what we’ve set out to do here at The Institute. Get you quintiple pay for a day where the only thing you’d have to do is look at least at one pretty picture hopefully here on the blog, and then send us one dollar via cash check or money order. We added the dollar to the bill that is rapidly dying a slow death in Congress right now, because we thought of the holiday first and it was hard work requiring a huge amount of time thinking real hard. And drinking highly caffeinated tea while looking out over the mountains that border the Institute grounds too. This caused a rapid beating of the heart muscle and blurred vision. A health risk to be sure but that’s how highly we think of you our readers that we’re willing to take some of the chances we take, just to bring you a better life.

Right now you are not allowed to submit your pictures for this holiday but that may change in the future depending on how this send us a dollar thing works out. If we got enough of those dollars and they weren’t that funny money from the monopoly game or hand-drawn pictures of dollars that are supposed to fool us, then we might change our mind. We have ex-bankers here on staff that are trained to spot that kind of thing, so don’t even think about it. If our National Pretty Picture Day bill can be snuck through Congress, a dollar will be automatically withdrawn from every living American’s paycheck and deposited in our overseas account in the Barbados to cover our costs and expenses. But look what you’ll be gaining. A day off. Quintiple pay. And most importantly a day filled with pretty pictures. Really nice ones that make it worth it.

We’ll be bringing you more information as we follow our bill through the Congress of the United States. Yes it is our great democratic system at work. Isn’t America great?