Tag Archives: Isis

Cloud Cutting

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2016-07-20CloudCutting0558

Many of you long time readers are aware of *The Institute’s weather modification program. We developed this ability to modify and even create certain kinds of weather early on in The Institute’s development. This was done for many reasons, all of them altruistic, but mainly for money. The Institute is expensive to run and maintain and we seek funds wherever we might find them.

We have different projects in the works constantly to fund our operation, from our innovative metal can retrieval program from the roadsides of our Nation’s highways to assisting NASA with their Space Program by supporting probes to Uranus and beyond. We have an outreach program where we have housebound or incarcerated individuals address envelopes for various corporations to help keep the Post Office’s Junk Mail program alive. That keeps untold dozens of postal workers busy and gainfully employed. There is no project too small if it assists us in maintaining the integrity and longevity of The Institute and brings in a buck or two.

Our supremacy had been untouchable in the weather modification arena and we had been so far out front that you had to jump up in the air real high to even see our dust. Then the Aussie’s got in the game. Man, they are tough. Their program to limit rain and cause desertification of huge areas, if not all of their country, has been unassailable. Our program to “drought up” California has been good but we can’t even touch what the Australians are capable of. Which is difficult for us to admit. Right now they’re the ones we watch.

Because of their (we’re talking about those miserably overachieving Aussies here) ability to make inroads into the weather modification business in general, we have had to look for other areas of the business to augment our extensive programs. We believe we’ve hit on something the rest of the WeatherMod group hasn’t touched yet and that is the untouched field of Boutique Weather. This is a small business at this time but we think the potential is absolutely enormous.

There are many very wealthy States that have incredible tourism businesses. States like Colorado, Utah, Arizona ( a biggie ) Montana, parts of New Mexico and when they pay their bills (which is why we have them in a “droughtie” right now) Northern California that are looking for that edge to keep those tourists coming in and to keep them there longer. That’s where we come in. We are already supplying many of those states and other small touristy kind of countries with custom-designed sunrises and sunsets. With our new custom “Cloud Cutting” ability we can custom tailor those sunrises and sunsets by ‘cutting’ the edges and shapes of the clouds so that they can feature or highlight a tourist drawing element, by allowing the light to be directed on them for maximum viewing pleasure. Think, Devil’s Tower, or parts of the Grand Canyon, Isis for instance, where before you had a pleasant sunset that sort of showed off the various elements of the scene, but now with our Patented Applied For “Cloud Cutting” technology, those individual elements can be seen by those money-toting tourists much more clearly and colorfully than ever before. Talk about making it rain greenbacks, we can hardly keep up with the demand for these new custom tailored clouds. Now coupled with our ability to create clouds of any size, shape or profile we feel we have a real winner here. Need God beams, we can do that. Need tiny or large holes or openings in your cloud for extra special effects? We can do that. Right now the sky’s the limit, so to speak.

The image featured above is over the Eastern edge of The Institute’s testing grounds where we work on many of our new weather projects. This is the program at work using the new “Sun nibbling” feature where we are sculpting the edge of the cloud to perhaps highlight a small secluded cove on the Eastern Seaboard, or perhaps one of the little canyons that feed into the Grand Canyon, or a meadow up in Yellowstone where elk graze in the early morning or evening. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

We have high hopes for this new element in our Weather modification program and already interest is running high for this unique new addition and we see big things on the horizon. Watch the sky above and stay tuned for further innovations.

* Note: For those of you unfamiliar with The Institute and what it does, please see the page labeled The Institute on the Menu Bar above. That should explain everything. You shouldn’t have one single question remaining regarding The Institute after reading it. None. For those of you favored few who already know about the Institute, Nevermind.

Primary Colors

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Attention Readers: This is a Public Service Announcement !

The following is a Public Service Announcement brought to you by The Institute and the Americans for Brighter Colors  or ABC as it is known amongst those who follow weird splinter groups.

As Americans we want the very best for our families, our communities, and our Nation. There is a tendency out there in the hinterland to think that somehow America is failing to live up to its expectations. To be falling into third place or even worse, second place, in many of the areas where we once excelled.

We hear from the media how we are now lagging in academics, and how our young people are going to hell in a hand basket what with tattoos and the piercing of private parts with strange but weird metal stuff. Where once we were first among nations in conspicuous consumption we are now sitting in the back of the Chinese bus. We now no longer have our own horrible diseases and have to import them from formerly third world countries at a high rate of cost so we can at least stay relevant in the disease ridden world. Even our fall colors are at risk of becoming third-rate with some saying they’re  “Lackluster”. Or even “Boring”.

Well we here at The Institute, and the folks at ABC say “Enough!” “Enough of this color shaming! Enough of washed out yellows and reds. Enough of making fun of our pathetic attempts to produce a strong vibrant orange. Enough!” We are a great Nation! We have done many incredible and world shaking things. Didn’t we create sensations like Miley Cyrus? What other country has a young woman making millions of dollars and can’t keep her tongue in her mouth? Or back in April of 1988 we had the song “She Drives Me Crazy” by the Fine Young Cannibals. Now there are much better cannibals in places like Africa and New Guinea and probably the middle-east and ours have faded from the glowing light of stardom here in this country. Or how about our ability to create drinking stuff that can be hand carried out of various vending establishments such as this incredible innovation. “Having been tested in a few outlets, 7-11’s gallon-sized Slurpee’s became available in all locations in 1967”. Now there are places in Poland and the Baltic states where you can buy a 55 gallon drum of greenish Slurpee-like liquid  for pennies on the dollar. They even throw in the small cart needed to wheel this around with. And an industrial strength straw!

We could go on and on listing our supposed failings, we haven’t even touched on things like war, where now there are people much meaner than us creating havoc all over the place. Yes, we’re looking at you ISIS. But enough of that. Let’s get back to the problem at hand. Our Fall colors.

Since there have been aspersions cast and no small amount of ridicule, on our national forests and private collections of arboreal treasures, we, The Institute and our friends at ABC, have decided to take matters into our own hands and turn this problem around. Consequently we have searched high and low and come up with a list of Primary Colors which we are supplying to the nation at large for whatever use they can best put it to.

Here it is.

blue

yellow

green

red

There are also secondary colors that can be applied to ‘Fall colors’. Due to space limitations we are only providing some of the better known and most useful of these helpful colors. They are, in no particular order

Crimson

Ebony

Clear

Neon

and Blue

and orange too.

With this list you can go forth and apply them to the colors you are witnessing right now as we head into the height of the color change period here in the western hemisphere, but primarily America. If all of you make a concentrated effort to apply these primary and some of those other colors listed above to our forests, (you can use the image above for guidance) it won’t be long until we regain our color supremacy and can hold our heads up proudly as our national god-fearing trees begin their color changes. Remember Canada is right across the border and they have trees too. Plenty of them. Let’s make America great again. Do your part.

This color list is available for the small sum of 80.00 dollars. Send a SASE with cash check or money order, or preferably all three to: The Institute, C/O The Director, P.O.Box, The Institute, Colorado, USA

Thank you. We thank you, the trees will thank you, and our nation will thank you. This concludes our Public Service Announcement. Thank you. Really.

Isis Revisited

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IsisRevisited0543Isis   Grand Canyon                                                    click to enlarge

Isis has always been one of my favorite features in the grand Canyon and not just because I can recognize it amongst all the other rocks out there. There’s some magnetic quality about it that catches your attention and is always a prominent feature in your view of the canyon.

I just recently found out that in ancient mythology she was known as a friend to slaves, sinners and artisans which kind of bummed me out after realizing what company that put me in. Then I discovered that she also listened to the prayers of the wealthy, aristocrats and rulers and that brightened up my day some. At least I had the possibility to hang with some of the better folks.

It would appear that those fun-loving Egyptian gods and goddesses had some quirky social behaviors, what with brother marrying sister, having animal heads instead of regular faces and being able to bring back the dead if they felt like it. But then who are we to judge. I mean have you watched TV lately. Seems like that Egyptian bunch didn’t corner the market on weird.

It’s difficult to catch the goddess in a bad light but she really shines when the light is perfect. And the light is rarely bad when you’re at the canyon. I think it’s time to pay homage to the queen again so I’ll be out on the edge at Yavapai Point visiting my girl. Wave if you see me so I’ll know who you are.