Tag Archives: iPad

Christmas Top Ten Gift Selection # 7 – Angler’s Drone

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patterned after an Osprey – Northern Colorado

Note: This is a repost of one of our Top Ten Gifts for the discerning buyer originally published in December of 2013, a year that will live in infamy. In what has become a half-assed  solemn tradition here at The Institute we have been irregularly reposting these now famous gift selections when we remember to do so in a lame attempt to create a Holiday Tradition and mostly because we suddenly realize it’s Christmas time and we don’t have squat done. It’s fun and we don’t have to spend the time making new stuff up. Enjoy.

New and Improved ! Now With LED’s and Specially Designed Li-ion batteries.

Can be controlled by your iPhone, iPad, Voice, or American Sign Language.

It’s Our Newest and Greatest Angler’s Drone!!!

Here’s the perfect gift for that hard to buy for fisherman on your gift list. The Angler’s Drone, his very own fish catching drone!

Is your angler often lucky at love but sucks at fishing? Does he come home tired and dejected, feeling like he’s a failure as a man because he can’t outwit a stupid fish? Well now here’s your big chance to give him back his self-confidence and put that spring back in his Bass rod. Get him his own remote control Angler’s Drone programmed with our exclusive patented algorithm ( *The Institute’s Exclusive)  guaranteed to catch the lunkers in his favorite fishing hole.

Unlike other lesser quality Fish Catching Drones ours works! Our patented program uses a combination of mathematical calculations, satellite information, NOAA recommended tide tables, Poor Richards Almanac moon schedules, opinions from local successful fishermen, and a random good luck generator, all coupled with the best technology money can buy to give him fool-proof angling success. We are so confident of the drones ability to catch those giant fish that we offer a iron-clad, money back, no questions asked possibility of a refund if you’re not completely satisfied with your purchase. (some restrictions apply**)

Our drone is manufactured in one of the best drone assembly factories in Taiwan and utilizes top quality materials and high tech programs such as Infrared Eyes, last years declassified cruise missile guidance systems, unbreakable polycast high-density resin wing struts with the latest silk-hardened pre-cast feathers attached with super-strength, heat sealed adhesion to survive those high-speed dives into rough water and uncrackable encrypted electronics to prevent jamming from nearby envious fisherman or lurking wildlife officers.

Propulsion comes from our own unique proprietary CO2 BLAAATZ  Jet-
Go™ release system. Flights of up to 45 seconds are available on one 4 oz. cylinder of inexpensive non-polluting CO2 power cylinders and up to 17 minutes on one 6lb CO2 cylinder, optional, not included. Use the easy glide lubricant to allow for trouble-free insertion of power supply, toss the drone into a mild headwind and you’re fishing. It’s that easy! Simple guidance commands can be shouted up to the drone where it’s proprietary “I can hear you now” audio technology, exclusive to this product, provides exceptional control over your speeding drone.

Availability: In Stock

Colors: Camo, Natural, Pink with friendship anklets on talons, space for up to 16 letters for personalization, our new color this year, Stealth blue which is nearly invisible against the sky, fish can’t see drone coming, and black.

Angler’s Drone $3995.95

Extra 6lb CO2 bottles 64.95 each or buy the handy U-Totem 6-pack and save. Drone shipped unassembled, easily reassembled using common household tools. ( Must have access to Tig welder, centrifuge, coke-fired drying oven and Phillips screwdriver.)

Must be 18 or older with valid drone license to order. Not to be used near airports, government facilities that utilize deadly force, nudist colonies, Skeet shooting ranges, any type of correctional facility, or at an altitude higher than 3500′. Not to be used for surveillance or to lift any object over 40 lbs. Do not use this unit to give small children “rides”, this is not safe. CO2 cylinders must be properly disposed of.  Do not incinerate.  Do not allow propulsion vent at rear of unit to become clogged or plugged. Keep hands, eyes or lips well away from propulsion vent. Replace CO2 cylinder after every immersion. Wear industrial strength rubber gloves as lubricant is Corrosive. Lubricant is Non-Edible and should not be used for any other purpose of any kind. We mean it! This stuff is toxic. Excessive use of lubricant may cause burning of the eyes, nose or lips and cylinder to be expelled during flight. Performance may become erratic if submerged for more than two hours.  All audible commands must be given in a clear unaccented voice within 30′ of unit. Not responsible for drones lost due to inadequate volume or stuttering. Due to unit being able to reach speeds in excess of 220mph it is not recommended to try to “catch” returning units. Always operate unit in a responsible manner. Sorry, no refunds or exchanges.
** Some restrictions apply. What! Do you think we’re crazy? Read the small print. All restrictions apply, everyone of them. There are so many we don’t even have room to list them all. I wouldn’t even think of trying to get any money back if I were you. By the time we get done dragging you through the wringer you’ll be paying us just to shut this whole mess down.

* Note: For those of you unfamiliar with The Institute and what it does, please see the page labeled The Institute on the Menu Bar above. That should explain everything. You shouldn’t have one single question remaining regarding The Institute after reading it. None. For those of you favored few who already know about the Institute, Nevermind. Return to your daily activities. Thank you for your support.

Christmas Gift Selection # 4 For 2017 Angler’s Drone

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AnglersDrone1285
Osprey Northern Colorado

Note: This is a repost of one of our Top Ten Gifts for the discerning buyer originally published in December of 2013, a year that will live in infamy. In what has become a half-assed tradition here at The Institute we have been irregularly reposting these now famous gift selections when we remember to do so in a lame attempt to create a Holiday Tradition and mostly because we suddenly realize it’s Christmas time and we don’t have squat done. It’s fun and we don’t have to spend the time making new stuff up. Enjoy.

New and Improved ! Now With LED’s and Specially Designed Li-ion batteries.

Can be controlled by your iPhone, iPad, Voice, or American Sign Language.

It’s Our Newest and Greatest

Angler’s Drone!!!

Here’s the perfect gift for that hard to buy for fisherman on your gift list. The Angler’s Drone, his very own ‘fish catching drone’!

Is your angler often lucky at love but sucks at fishing? Does he come home tired and dejected, feeling like he’s a failure as a man because he can’t outwit a stupid fish? Well now here’s your big chance to give him back his self-confidence and put that spring back in his Bass rod. Get him his own remote control Angler’s Drone programmed with our exclusive patented algorithm ( *The Institute’s Exclusive)  guaranteed to catch the lunkers in his favorite fishing hole.

Unlike other lesser quality Fish Catching Drones ours works! Our patented program uses a combination of mathematical calculations, satellite information, NOAA recommended tide tables, Poor Richards Almanac moon schedules, opinions from local successful fishermen, and a random good luck generator, all coupled with the best technology money can buy to give him fool-proof angling success. We are so confident of the drones ability to catch those giant fish that we offer a iron-clad, money back, no questions asked possibility of a refund if you’re not completely satisfied with your purchase. (some restrictions apply**)

Our drone is manufactured in one of the best drone assembly factories in Taiwan and utilizes top quality materials and high tech programs such as Infrared Eyes, last years declassified cruise missile guidance systems, unbreakable polycast high-density resin wing struts with the latest silk-hardened pre-cast feathers attached with super-strength, heat sealed adhesion to survive those high-speed dives into rough water and uncrackable encrypted electronics to prevent jamming from nearby envious fisherman or lurking wildlife officers.

Propulsion comes from our own unique proprietary CO2 BLAAATZ  Jet-Go™ release system. Flights of up to 45 seconds are available on one 4 oz. cylinder of inexpensive non-polluting CO2 power cylinders and up to 17 minutes on one 6lb cylinder, optional, not included. Use the easy glide lubricant to allow for trouble-free insertion of power supply, toss the drone into a mild headwind and you’re fishing. It’s that easy! Simple guidance commands can be shouted up to the drone where it’s proprietary “I can hear you now” audio technology, exclusive to this product, provides exceptional control over your speeding drone.

Availability: In Stock

Colors: Camo, Natural, Pink with friendship anklets on talons, space for up to 16 letters for personalization, our new color this year, Stealth blue which is nearly invisible against the sky, fish can’t see drone coming, and black.

Angler’s Drone $3995.95

Extra 6lb CO2 bottles 64.95 each or buy the handy U-Totem 6-pack and save. Drone shipped unassembled, easily reassembled using common household tools. ( Must have access to Tig welder, centrifuge, coke-fired drying oven and Phillips screwdriver.)

Must be 18 or older with valid drone license to order. Not to be used near airports, government facilities that utilize deadly force, nudist colonies, Skeet shooting ranges, any type of correctional facility, or at an altitude higher than 3500′. Not to be used for surveillance or to lift any object over 40 lbs. Do not use this unit to give small children “rides”, this is not safe. CO2 cylinders must be properly disposed of.  Do not incinerate.  Do not allow propulsion vent at rear of unit to become clogged or plugged. Keep hands eyes or lips well away from propulsion vent. Replace CO2 cylinder after every immersion. Wear industrial strength rubber gloves as lubricant is Corrosive. Lubricant is Non-Edible and should not be used for any other purpose of any kind. We mean it! This stuff is toxic. Excessive use of lubricant may cause burning of the eyes, nose or lips and cylinder to be expelled during flight. Performance may become erratic if submerged for more than two hours.  All audible commands must be given in a clear unaccented voice within 30′ of unit. Not responsible for drones lost due to inadequate volume or stuttering. Due to unit being able to reach speeds in excess of 220mph it is not recommended to try to “catch” returning units. Always operate unit in a responsible manner. Sorry, no refunds or exchanges.
** Some restrictions apply. What! Do you think we’re crazy? Read the small print. All restrictions apply, everyone of them. There are so many we don’t even have room to list them all. I wouldn’t even think of trying to get any money back if I were you. By the time we get done dragging you through the wringer you’ll be paying us just to shut this whole mess down.

* Note: For those of you unfamiliar with The Institute and what it does, please see the page labeled The Institute on the Menu Bar above. That should explain everything. You shouldn’t have one single question remaining regarding The Institute after reading it. None. For those of you favored few who already know about the Institute, Nevermind. Return to your daily activities. Thank you for your support.

Broken Ground

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2016-10-25broken-ground9967Canyonlands: Right Click on Image, Choose Open Image in New Tab for larger view

Broken ground is just what the words imply. Be careful, that ground is broken. Don’t go falling in there. If you go up to that edge because you want to look down and see what’s down there, don’t lean way out and start flailing around with your arms and yelling “Hey I’m falling here.” and expect a lot of sympathy from anybody when you do. If you got two eyes and a brain in your head you should have noticed that that is broken ground and not got up so close and act stupid because your goofy friends think it’s funny. Remember, after you fall in they’re just going to laugh and say how dumb that was and drink the rest of your beer. Plus your cousin, the one you didn’t want to come along on this trip anyway, will probably be putting the moves on your girl before you even hit bottom.

If you did kind of winkle up to the edge and kind of lay down on your stomach several yards from the drop-off so you could crawl up there and hang your head over the edge and look, you’ll notice that the only bodies down there are ones with a camera strapped around their necks or maybe an iPad laying next to them all busted up. That’s because   the locals and others that are familiar with the West and places you can fall into, don’t do that. They right away recognize broken ground and back up real quick. Lots of them will just sit in their pickups and drink coffee out of a thermos and watch the entertainment.

 It needs to be said that there is one local and his horse down there. But it was a freak accident, he didn’t mean it. He doesn’t even own a camera. He had ridden up to tell someone not to get that close to the edge and a rattlesnake laying there looking like a cow pie, bit his horse in the leg right above the hoof and that caused no end of trouble. Horses after getting bit by things often don’t know if they’ve been snake-bit or struck by lightning so they’re apt to do unusual things. Having said that, what with the horse jumping around and trying to stomp on the snake and then rearing up and falling over backward into the abyss, it was just a colossal blunder.

Unfortunately that was really a bonehead play because as they were going over they snagged the poor, sort of innocent tourist who was trying to back up and took him along for the ride. So we can’t really hold that one responsible for his sudden demise. I guess the moral of that story is watch out for locals on horseback trying to tell you stuff, or check out the area for snakes before engaging in any meaningful dialogue with anyone, a quick motion with your hand and the simple phrase “Hey, Stay back there a minute. Looking for snakes.” will work, they’ll understand, or just stay back a ways. You can see enough from twenty feet back. You don’t need to get up there and act like some kind of nutball, all you’re going to see is dead bodies anyway.

We only bring this up to help. It’s not like we’re trying to tell you what to do or anything. It’s just the neighborly thing to do. Around here we don’t want you falling in places. It’s bad for business. OK then, remember, watch out for broken ground.

P.S. and for locals on horseback.