Tag Archives: holiday season

Road Trip

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2016-01-05RoadTrip4734

Every once in a while we take a chance here at The Institute and do something really nice for our employees. This year we shut The Institute down completely for the entire holiday season, banked the fires, put the computers in standby, turned off the electricity to the fence, turned our livestock loose to fend for themselves, gave all of our interns a bus ticket to the last place they remember being from and The Institute went into hibernation until the New Year’s bells rang.

Now we are ramping up again. Everyone is slowly trickling back from where ever they spent the holidays. Just yesterday the bright, shiny, baby blue bus that the Sheriff’s department uses to transport prisoners hither and yon, hither being County road 56G where they cheerfully spread blacktop for the entire fortnight of the holidays, and yon, back to the tent city up near the Soapstone Wildlife Preserve where they ate sagebrush and tried not to freeze to death, dropped off the interns and two of our PhD’s that had spent the Christmas holidays in the bosom of the Larimer County Work but not release program.

Fortunately our critical employees like our chef returned a day early to get the fires built back up again. Of course he returned because we kept the back seat out of his 1968 Buick Boattail Riviera as an incentive to come back. You can not find replacements for those anywhere, I don’t care if you look on Craigslist, eBay, AutoZone, or any junkyard from here to the Philippines, they’re just not available. It’s good to see that coal-black smoke roiling out of the commissaries chimneys again. It won’t be long before the scent of coal fires and Lamprey stew and frozen dinners will coat the buildings with a thin layer of grease again. I know some of our interns cannot wait. Which is good because they’ve already chewed so much bark off the aspen I don’t know what the elk are going to eat this winter,

Our Chief of Security was also an early returnee. She had to put new brushes in the generator that keeps the fence electrified and to test fire the AR-15’s that were stored in the gun locker. Plus she just likes shooting stuff and it’s difficult to find a place where you can discharge automatic weapons with impunity. Our med staff came back because there would be a lot of cases to treat amongst the returning interns due to their living rough as they call it. Rashes, bites, broken teeth, infected tattoos, malnutrition, loss of key parts of their bodies from unknown incidents, bruises from manacles and restraints, loss of body hair from attending New Year’s parties, colds, hypo and hyper thermia, hearing loss from listening to Mother’s and other loved ones telling them to get a real job, acute disorientation, many terrible nearly untreatable diseases from those who traveled outside the country to their home of origin, and sea sickness. Our med staff is ready, in fact some of them were walking around with their rubber gloves on already.

Our animals got time off also. The wolves went up to Yellowstone to visit friends, the grizzlies that watch the far-flung perimeter of The Institute had reservations at Sandals again this year. They just can’t get enough of the Turks and Caicos, Saint Lucia and Antigua. Our resident Elk herd made the short pilgrimage to Rocky Mountain National Park to see the in-laws. Our own Bighorn Sheep herd went to visit cousins and other extended family down in the Black Mountains near Kingman Arizona. They’re a little late checking in but they were sighted on Highway 34 near Allenspark just outside of Rocky Mountain National Park where they were going to stop for a night to see friends and drop off a few Desert Bighorns who wanted to see the park first hand, or hoof as it were.

It’s always a good feeling to get The Institute back up and running. Soon we’ll be having our meetings, setting agendas and summer trips schedules, putting the interns back to work with planting and watering and hoeing. They’ll be getting that lower 160 acres planted to Rutabagas again and be busy stirring up the carp ponds. Fresh fish again, they like that. We here at The Institute hope your holidays went well and you’re back in the grind with a fresh mind and rested feet. Drop us a line when you’re not busy. Let us know how your holidays went. We’ve already heard from Aunt Pheeb. Uncle Skid got out of Rikers in time to make it home for Christmas. She didn’t even know he was in New York, he had just gone out for cigarettes, but that’s a story for another time. Have a good New Year.

We Three Blooms

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Peppermint7502

It’s the season for candy and presents and stuffing yourself with good things to eat and that’s what we have today. This is a beautiful edible flower called the Peppermint Surprise or Pepperminticus Candii. It’s perfect as a garnish or added to your favorite salad or simply eaten one petal at a time.

The blooms usually grow in groups of three and ripen together around the first of the holiday season. One unique characteristic they have is they need the light of a single bright star to fully realize their deepest richest color. That’s when they become fully ripened and must be picked quickly as they immediately turn into a hard brittle candy that is prone to wind damage. They look and feel like the finest delicate porcelain until you eat one. Then its heaven on earth. There is a OMG flavor-burst that will have your eyes watering, and your tongue smacking the back of your teeth, it tastes so good. You’ll be begging for just one more. It’s a good thing they’re expensive and hard to find because you’d eat next months house payment in one sitting if you could.

These flowers are fairly difficult to locate and harvest as they only grow on the eastern slopes of The Big Rock Candy mountain in Northern Colorado. They are found and harvested by listening for the sound they make as the night breezes flow by them causing them to vibrate and hum in harmony. It may be that this is why their blossoms bloom in threes as they need the three different tones to make a chord. Their bell-like shape amplifies their song and makes them slightly easier to locate. Although you can hunt for the flowers by listening for their songs often the flower’s song is drowned out by the buzzing of the bees in the Cigarette Trees, which is a trash plant that has completely fallen out of favor and is to be avoided at all costs due to its adverse effects on humans and other living things. However there is some unknown symbiosis that must occur between the Pepperminticus Candii  and the Cigarette Trees, cigagretable awfulitica that is not fully understood yet. But if you find the Cigarette Trees you will almost always find Peppermint Surprise flowers growing amongst them. And for that reason we haven’t burned out the Cigarette Tree grove yet.

Due to it’s incredibly high sugar content they should be kept away from young children under 30 as they might make them hyper-active, and hard to stomach and that’s  the last thing you want at this time of year so simply tell the little tots that they’re deadly poisonous and they should leave them alone.

As mentioned previously we are lucky enough to have a small grove of the Cigarette Trees with their attending Peppermint Surprise flowers in our arboretum here at The Institute where they can be purchased for 118.00 per ounce. Shipping extra. Please be advised that due to their delicate nature they can be broken and damaged in transit which reduces them to a powder that appears to resemble fireplace ashes, however the unique taste remains in full flavor, so they can be used as a sprinkle for cupcake toppings or on your favorite white ice cream. However, order at your own risk, this is a non-refundable item. Happy Holidays!