Tag Archives: ground squirrel

The Thousand Yard Stare

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Well, it’s time to go see Loretta again. She’s in that burrow out there near the tree line. Man I wish that wasn’t so far away. I still have the scars from that Redtail the last time I went there. It took nearly all winter for the hair to grow back. If it was any one else but Loretta I’d say screw it but I been thinking about her all Spring and she has been flicking her tail this way every time she sees me.

Everybody has been saying that coyote, Ringo, has been crossing through the area nearly every morning. Arrogant bastard, calling himself Ringo, that jerk doesn’t look anything like a drummer. I heard he ate Constance just a few days ago. That’s pretty pathetic she could hardly move anyway, what with that arthritis. He must be slowing down if he’s taken to eating grandma’s now. I think I can out run him if I get a fair head start.

Ok then, that’s it, I’m going for it. Wish me luck.

Some Badgers Are OK

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We have written several posts about badgers in the past. The earliest one was back in April of 2014 http://www.bigshotsnow.com/fun-with-badgers and more recently in January of 2015 we wrote the expose titled “The Thing About Badgers” http://www.bigshotsnow.com/the-thing-about-badgers/ where we pointed out that Badgers did not make good pets.

Since both of those posts could have mistakenly been considered critical to Badgers and all their relatives and the States that harbor them we thought it was time to give Badgers a little good press. Which is why we titled this post, “Some Badgers Are OK”.

Although we had to do a bit of digging to find good points about Badgers we did find some. For instance Badgers are considered good parents as they rarely eat their young and then only for the best reasons. Badgers like to maintain good order within their family groups. Lining up in straight lines is important to them and having all their offspring facing in the same direction is too.

Biting. Biting is big with Badgers. Everyday when the female brings out the young and gets them all pointed in the same direction in a straight line, she will bite the nearest one. At first this was thought to be an act of rage from a single mother who didn’t like raising children, then we noticed that she didn’t bite them all that hard. It was more of a “We’re badgers and this is what we do.” kind of bite. Of course if the other one snickered at its sibling while it was being bitten she would walk deliberately around to his side and give him a bite roughly twice as hard. Discipline is strict in a badger family. No screwing around during the morning biting session.

Badgers realize they have a PR problem and have taken steps to counter the poor image they have made for themselves. Because they are usually grumpy, snarly, ill-tempered beasts at best they are now trying to change that image to show their better side. In the past if you drove by and said something pleasant to a group of Badgers they would respond with a rude gesture and taunt you with an invitation to come closer and “get your soft parts chewed on for a while, if you’re so damn friendly.” Now however it is not unusual to see the badgers lined up on the front porch of their dens or alongside the roadway waving a friendly paw and offering to show you how they eviscerate a ground squirrel for dinner, or how the young can line up in straight lines without even being bitten. This is a big change.

This movement is slow to being accepted universally in the Badger community however. You will still find many Badgers that have no interest whatsoever in being friendly. These Badgers usually live in the more rural parts of Wisconsin and in the more common Western states where hardly anyone goes anyway, so that may account for the slow adoption rate.

Wisconsinites have been paying more attention to their state animal since we have been running these posts and now some of them can even recognize a Badger in the wild, or as wild as it gets in Wisconsin, and will often stop their vehicles and run up to the Badger thinking it is just another furry little animal that will be nice to them. So when they get out of one of those portable roadside clinics set up by the State to treat those who have not yet learned that all wildlife is not their friend, they will stop and compare the number of stitches they got with the other members of their party, then go home and mention to friends and neighbors that it is best to leave all badgers the hell alone until you find out if they have accepted the new “Let’s Be Friendlier Badgers” program.

There may be other good things about Badgers we haven’t mentioned but that was only because we couldn’t find any more of them. Of course we didn’t look too hard as you’re liable to get really bit if you go poking around near Badgers so we found these few items and called it good. At least no one can call us one-sided on the Badger issue now as we have presented both sides of the subject and look pretty darned objective, badger-wise. Ok then, there you have it. Discuss it amongst yourselves if you need to.

The Daily Reporter

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Well another day and I’m wondering what’s on tap today. Yesterday was something with Phil and Carl getting in that big fight over that trollop Edna Marie. I hope Carl’s eye is ok. You would think those Elk would have more brains but I guess growing those big antlers doesn’t leave much blood flow into their little bitty brain sockets. I can’t see what those guys see in her. She has a calf every single year, sometimes twins. Everybody talks about it.

Then Vince came lumbering through. What a blivet. He is so fat that even for a Black bear he’s one jumbo burrito. He looks like a 55 gallon drum with ears. And dumb! he’s so dumb he thinks an innuendo is an Italian suppository.

And then that fox Clarita, and I don’t mean fox as in red fox those sneaky bastards, I mean that total hottie Chipmunk from down the meadow came by both cheeks stuffed with seeds. I mean Whoa….

The sad thing that happened in the afternoon was that nice old Mr. Lapinsky, the Ground Squirrel that lived in that stump next to where the bees were for a while until Vince dug them out that one time, who would do anything for anybody, got snatched by that Golden eagle. You could hear him screaming as the eagle took him up and out of sight. Mr. Lapinsky never liked heights.

There was one more incident that I can barely talk about even now, a whole day after it happened. I was up here on my rock, minding my own business not paying attention to anyone or anything when I heard a rustle just out there in the tall grass. God! It was Russell, that miserable misbegotten, hairy, flea-ridden, worthless piece of canine trash, even for a coyote, getting ready to jump up here and get me. He got my cousin Ed last summer, ate him right in front of his whole family and then tried for one of the kids too. What a… If I hadn’t heard him I would have been gone too. I’m afraid I embarrassed myself as I made one huge leap for the tree behind me, never, never go in a hole when a coyote goes for you, get up a tree. Those things can dig like crazy and I mean where you gonna go. No, always go up a tree. I’m still shaking. I can barely eat the rest of this seed.

Yesterday was a big day, but really, no bigger than most days . I see a lot of crazy stuff from up here I can tell you. Who’s that coming this way? Well I’ll be, I haven’t seen her in a while… What is that she is… Nooo, you won’t believe this.

Favorite Son

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There is no disputing that a mother loves all her children equally. She will feed them, watch over them, defend them to her death. But occasionally there appears a young one that is first among equals. One that creates a special bond that is just outside the perimeter of her all encompassing love for each of the young she has.

This one fits that bill. There are eight siblings in this family of coyotes. The others are back at the den which is about 30′ away, where mom told them to stay while she takes a much needed nap. Coyote pups tend to mind their mothers and although they may test the limits some, they usually do what they’re told. But then there is this one. He has been the one from the very beginning that she frets over the most. He doesn’t do what he’s told. He goes off without the slightest regard for safety or his well being, he takes on the world as if it is his by some right no one else was aware of.

She disciplines him but it doesn’t seem to take. Where the other pups are reluctant to approach mom when she says it’s quiet time. “Leave me alone.” This pup will approach her fearlessly and say “Getup! Play with me. Give me something to eat. I found a dead ground squirrel, come see. Hey, come on!” She may snap and growl and even nip him but he is unfazed, and she loves him for it.

It’s hard to define what this special bond is. But it’s there. It will be there for as long as they’re together. And maybe longer if coyotes have memories. She will never admit it but this is her favorite son.

Candy-Gram

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Candy-Gram3631Coyote Yellowstone River

Television has always had a larger than life effect on the animals in Yellowstone. KYEL, Yellowstone’s own closed circuit TV station has been available to the parks residents for many years now. Most animals had cable until satellite came in and now that seems to be the system of choice due to the park’s restrictions on running overhead wires.

The effects on the young animals of the park has been pronounced over the years. Many young Sandhill cranes learned to dance watching American Bandstand and young antelopes waited breathlessly for the Olympic track and field events, especially those featuring the sprinters. Sea Hunt with Lloyd Bridges was a favorite of all the young otters and of course all the young spike bulls never missed Mickey Mouse Club when Annette was on.

But TV had its dark side too. Things that were meant to be humorous were changed by certain individuals to fit their own purposes. We’re not mentioning any names here but they looked a lot like coyotes. Coyotes were drawn to the edgier, hipper, more intellectual type of humor like Saturday Night Live or SNL as we know it now. One of the skits that they particularly enjoyed was called ‘Land Shark” and featured a giant shark that used lots of different ploys to get young women to open their doors so he could eat them. While most viewers laughed at the absurdities of the situation the coyotes watched closely. They saw how they might turn this approach into a technique that would allow them to approach their intended meals in a way that would cut down on all that chasing and running and leaping to get fed. Using the right choice of words would have those ground squirrels walking right into their open jaws.

Here we see a coyote at the front door of a young well-fed ground squirrel calling “Candy-Gram” down her hallway, a favorite ploy of the Land Shark to get you to open your door. You and I laugh at the idea of this actually working but then we don’t take into account the natural dim-ness of a young well-fed ground squirrel. Sitting there on the couch, bloated and on a sugar high from eating all that grass, they are easily fooled and in this case the thought of someone actually sending her a candy-gram overcame her normal sense of caution. Too bad for her.

TV is a force for both good and evil. In this case it was, unfortunately, not used for good. The moral of this story then is, if you’re a young well fed ground squirrel and someone knocks on your door saying “Candy-Gram”, Don’t open the door. Nobody sends ground squirrels candy-grams. If you had watched SNL instead of 100 uses for fresh green grass shoots on Cooking For Rodents, you’d be safe and snug in your burrow right now.

The Lurker

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The Lurker5047Coyote Yellowstone                            click to enlarge

If you were a mouse, or a vole, or even a ground squirrel, and I am in no way suggesting you are, you would have a vastly different life. You’d be a lot smaller and quite a bit hairier and you would be constantly preoccupied with eating. Now even if that description fits some of you and of course I am in no way suggesting it does, you’d have one more concern to keep in mind.

And that would be The Lurker. The Lurker is that ominous presence that is always just out of sight, but you know it’s there, waiting, waiting, and well, lurking, back there in the shadows ready to get you. And the getting of you is the deal. If you get got it is game over. No more rustling in the grass, no more squeaking with pleasure when you find those new green grass shoots, that’s it. Conclude-o.

Now if you are that small little rodent busily eating your way to oblivion and you are not paying attention to the first rule of rodent survival which is “Never get far from your den” and the second rule, which is “Don’t chew with your mouth open” and the third rule which is “Remember the Lurker” then you are in for what is known in the rodent world as a really ugly day. There are no “Hey wait” or “Listen I just stepped out here for a smoke and some fresh green grass shoots” or “Who’s going to feed my cat” it is simply Bite, snap, gulp, and Next ! and the lurker is on his way.

So this is a reminder to all the little hairy, grass munching, squeaky little rodents out there, keep your blue cross up to date, sometimes the Lurker misses, and when you get to that comfortable just full feeling, stop eating, and finally, send your Mother-in-law out there first, the mean one, to see if the lurker is nearby. You just might get lucky.