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Great Blue Herons are trained fisherman. From as soon as they can wade they’re out there watching, studying, learning, generally getting this whole fish hunting thing down. They are supposed to be super sleuth-y and hyper-vigilant in their surroundings so it is a shock to see how degraded their educational system has become when you observe how inadequately this new generation of Herons has been educated. I lay it at the feet of all those who brought New Math into the school system. That’s right, those damned hippies. We reap what we sow people. We need to get this right. This fish was deliberately insulting because it felt absolutely no fear. No fear at all.

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 Here it is waving it’s tail at the Heron in a deliberate provocation knowing it was perfectly safe.

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Not once but twice this fish jumped completely out of the water and into the air just as high as it could. The air is not a fishes natural environment. It doesn’t belong there. To enter into the Heron’s world with impunity like this is a direct challenge to everything Herons hold to be true, yet it causes no reaction at all from this Heron. None.

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Baffled by this behavior I went to check with both our staff birdologist and our fishologist, then I remembered that I had canned them during the last down turn. Sequestration is causing us a lot of problems. However Captain Colorado our  janitor I mean, building maintenance technician here at the World Headquarters of our Media Empire, has been filling in for them until we can do some rehires. After studying the pictures and considering this unusual behavior he came to the following conclusion. “This just ain’t right” he said nodding slowly. When pressed further for a more concise opinion he said “Yeah, that is some weird stuff boy-o.” Captain Colorado doesn’t say a lot but he means every word he says. Note to self: Look hard at rehires.

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 Even the fish got disgusted and returned to the water probably to boast to all it’s fish friends about how it ‘owned’ this poor but pathetic loser. The Heron continued on having all the appearances of an expert fish catcher yet totally oblivious to it’s surroundings. Apparently this one was missed during the “Leave no Great Blue Heron Behind” program we had recently. It still had not caught anything to eat several hours later when I left, so this may be a self correcting problem if it does not get it’s act together. I’m sorry to say that it did not seem bright enough even to be ashamed, a sad commentary indeed on the state of Great Blue Herons everywhere. With this kind of education I can not see a bright future for this individual. So, I guess the moral here as I see it is, ‘Stay in school and pay attention’ or go hungry. Don’t be a self correcting problem.