Tag Archives: GobSmacked

That Montana Gold

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On a recent fact-finding trip through Montana for The Institute, we noticed a rather odd occurrence. We had sent our tame Geologist on a mission to discover whether or not  there was any gold left in Montana. He was to locate, then find, any gold deposits that may still be available to people that didn’t have any so they could go up there and get some. Thereby making their lives better because they had become filthy, stinking rich. They would, the new filthy, stinking rich people, then give The Institute a large percentage of the total value of the find, making us Filthy, Stinking rich too. We saw it as a win, win situation. Plus a nice thing to do for the general public.

Well imagine the output of our salivary glands when these photos began downloading into the central information receiving center’s photo receiving and downloading machine here at The Institute. We were stunned and amazed, some of us were even GobSmacked, that was our Brit contingent, they use words like that all over the place. Sometimes you can’t even understand them. But never the less we were surprised.

We debated about telling anyone about this find, preferring to keep this motherlode for ourselves so that we could become even more filthy, stinking rich than we already were, but then we decided that as it was on public land, and in a national park (Glacier) and right next to the road they would find out about it anyway, so we decided to look like heroes and disclose the find to the general public.

This is a nugget about 60′ long 40′ wide and 40′ deep which is slightly longer than a semi-trailer and a lot wider and frankly we were surprised no one had hauled it off by now. That’s a lot of gold sitting there. Our resident metallurgists figure that there is well over 800 maybe 850 dollars of gold sitting there right out in the open just for the taking. That isn’t cheese whiz laying there that ‘s gold.

Were we to, say, bring this nugget back here to The Institute, we would have to string a couple of our empty tuff sheds together to put this thing in to keep it out of the weather and away from prying eyes of whoever may be checking us out. We might even have to build a barn or something to put that thing in and you know how expensive it is to build anything up in the mountains now days so we’re still debating on whether we want to borrow our friend Jim’s flatbed and go get it or not.

Anyway that’s our problem. Yours is to figure out if you want to go up there and get any of that gold that’s just laying around next to the street, as it  were. You might check gold prices before you get all excited though. The last time we looked, gold was at 30- 35 bucks a pound, which make the cost efficiency of dealing with it problematic. But if you’re out of gold and need some, it’s up there. But then maybe you think being filthy, stinking rich is too much bother,
A lot of people do. We’ve done our part the rest is up to you. Good luck.

Color Encroachment

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There is a growing problem here in the West. You don’t hear much about it in the media because there are powerful influential groups that profit by it, and by powerful I mean the entire states of Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Arizona, Arizona is a particularly bad offender, New Mexico, and yes, parts of Colorado. The problem is color encroachment.

Color encroachment is an insidious problem that insinuates itself into your experience of the west in many ways. For instance, lets say you are driving along one of the back roads in any of the afore-mentioned states, gazing occasionally at the  bland, unremarkable scenery passing by, all grays and tans and pale washed out, bluish tints of the sky, when out of the corner of your eye you notice a small seemingly insignificant amount of color creeping into view. It may just be a lighter shade of tan with a hint of yellow in it amongst the roadside vegetation. Or perhaps a reddish hue to the distant rock faces and a deeper purple-ish color to the low-lying mountains off in the distance. Then you come around a corner and it smacks you right in the face.

Incredible shades of indigo blue and deep purple, rose-colored hillsides and brilliant greens of trees next to lesser shades of yellow and pale oranges in the grasses, the deep earth tones of fences and boulders. This is color encroachment. This is raw elemental color and it is right in your face. This new spectrum of color doesn’t stay safely away in the distance, it comes right down to the roadside threatening to spill out right into your path. The dangers are obvious. Black tire marks on the pavement as vehicles screech to a stop. Burned private parts from the spilled coffee of unaware drivers who become GobSmacked by the sudden sight of this massive color change. Digital cameras of all types filled to the brim with the ones and zeros of abused pixels. The list goes on and on.

There have even been traffic accidents caused by this massive influx of color, none fatally so far, but it’s a real possibility that it could happen in  the future. Many of the states have begun to take steps to control color encroachment but so far it has been too little, too late. Wyoming for instance has started fencing in much of its color as you can see by the image above. This has helped a little but since the color can be overwhelming to those visitors who have never experienced it before, it isn’t enough. Utah and the main violator Arizona have begun running public service ads warning the unwary and first time visitors to their states about the dangers of color encroachment, but there is a powerful lobby of resort owners, tourist orientated businesses and the auto repair industry trying to keep these to a minimum, shown only late at night after the info commercials, and they are pressing fiercely to do away with them altogether.

What has been recommended by the various auto travelers associations to combat color encroachment, has been to prepare yourself before you leave on that trip of a lifetime, by looking closely at old copies of Arizona magazine, watch the various videos and documentaries that show the wonders and colors of the west and practice placing contrasting but harmonious colors on a sheet of paper with a selection of magic markers. This will go a long way towards making your trip a safe one and still allow you to look at the colors of the ever-changing scenery.

Following those few simple suggestions will get you there to that colorful wilderness you long for and bring you back again safely without harm.  And remember to pay attention to those signs posted along the highway saying, “Drowsy drivers cause accidents”.  When they should really say “Drowsy drivers fall asleep, run off the road and scream out over the cliff onto the canyon floor miles below much like Thelma and Louise. Don’t do that.” They haven’t posted the “Beware of Color Encroachment” or “Color Encroachment Ahead” signs yet but prepared drivers have them in the forefront of their minds as they drive the beautiful but colorful highways and byways on the West. Remember, Be Safe and as they say out here “Vaya con Juevos”.