For those thousands upon thousands of loyal readers from all over the globe who noticed that BigShotsNow, the blog, has been off the air for several days we want to announce, we’re back…..

We were hacked. (*Note: For those of you on a time budget go to the end of this post for a quick summary) Yes just like a big phlegm ball we were hacked and spat out on the miserable roadside of the internet, unable to get to our site, unable to fix it, left with nothing but a screen declaring that “This website is currently unavailable. If you want to know why call this number. 1-8OO-oh crap!” which we immediately did.

Upon reaching our tech support we learned that thugs, despicable internet gangsters, lowlifes of the worst sort had some how gotten into our server and left despoiled files all over our html coding like little piles of puppy droppings. Of course our host, the folks who allow us to have BigShotsNow, the blog, on their servers, had to pull the plug on us. I mean, who wouldn’t. We’re not mad at them. But we are mad at those miserable, misbegotten, worthless pieces of humanity who defiled our home.

We’re not sure why they did it, that pond scum. It was probably some nefarious plan to attain world domination through thru the access of our loyal readers, or maybe they were just screwing around. In any event, that wasn’t funny.

When we saw the extent of the damage we had no recourse but to hire the best technicians available who went into the bowels of our site, as it were, wearing hazmat suits, carrying tools of reconstruction, and sparing no expense, clean, repair and reconstitute BigShotsNow, the blog. It took them nearly three days to complete this task before they came out weary, coated with the unmentionable residue of the their job, but they were successful. Fortunately not one of our readers was ever at risk of being effected or even infected in any way except in being denied the wit and wisdom they come here to find and that is the true evil that these slime-covered mental mutants do.

The technicians were successful, but worried. “This could easily happen again” they said in a voice weary but determined “These are bad, mean people. They are loveless, craven souls who exist only to bring misery and sorrow to others. They are so mean many of them bite themselves if they have no one else to torment. You should hire protection.”

So we did that too. We found the hardest, strongest, most morally superior jackbooted digital Stormtroopers around, who exist only to help keep this kind of evil at bay. They live to fight evil like this, gnashing their teeth, glaring, they make short work of any net trash looking for trouble. They will stand guard at the portals of our website keeping ever vigilant, and ruthlessly meet any challenge to the integrity of our home. So battered, bruised and bloody we return undeterred to keep publishing BigShotsNow, the blog, for you our loyal readers. The truth will always be available even if it is sometimes tarnished and barely discernible . We shall not be silenced.

Thank you for your patience and your support during these troubling times. The Director thanks you, The Institute thanks you, and free people everywhere thank you. Watch for a new post soon.

* We got hacked. We fixed it. We’re back. Mean people suck.