Well another day and I’m wondering what’s on tap today. Yesterday was something with Phil and Carl getting in that big fight over that trollop Edna Marie. I hope Carl’s eye is ok. You would think those Elk would have more brains but I guess growing those big antlers doesn’t leave much blood flow into their little bitty brain sockets. I can’t see what those guys see in her. She has a calf every single year, sometimes twins. Everybody talks about it.

Then Vince came lumbering through. What a blivet. He is so fat that even for a Black bear he’s one jumbo burrito. He looks like a 55 gallon drum with ears. And dumb! he’s so dumb he thinks an innuendo is an Italian suppository.

And then that fox Clarita, and I don’t mean fox as in red fox those sneaky bastards, I mean that total hottie Chipmunk from down the meadow came by both cheeks stuffed with seeds. I mean Whoa….

The sad thing that happened in the afternoon was that nice old Mr. Lapinsky, the Ground Squirrel that lived in that stump next to where the bees were for a while until Vince dug them out that one time, who would do anything for anybody, got snatched by that Golden eagle. You could hear him screaming as the eagle took him up and out of sight. Mr. Lapinsky never liked heights.

There was one more incident that I can barely talk about even now, a whole day after it happened. I was up here on my rock, minding my own business not paying attention to anyone or anything when I heard a rustle just out there in the tall grass. God! It was Russell, that miserable misbegotten, hairy, flea-ridden, worthless piece of canine trash, even for a coyote, getting ready to jump up here and get me. He got my cousin Ed last summer, ate him right in front of his whole family and then tried for one of the kids too. What a… If I hadn’t heard him I would have been gone too. I’m afraid I embarrassed myself as I made one huge leap for the tree behind me, never, never go in a hole when a coyote goes for you, get up a tree. Those things can dig like crazy and I mean where you gonna go. No, always go up a tree. I’m still shaking. I can barely eat the rest of this seed.

Yesterday was a big day, but really, no bigger than most days . I see a lot of crazy stuff from up here I can tell you. Who’s that coming this way? Well I’ll be, I haven’t seen her in a while… What is that she is… Nooo, you won’t believe this.