I’m not saying we here at The Institute believe in this but when you have incontrovertible proof right in front of your face it’s pretty difficult to ignore. If you’re confused and I’m pretty sure you might be, we’re talking about extraterrestrial beings in the shape of bubble-headed flat people that arrived here about 8000 years ago to straighten this place out.

They arrived en masse with all their dogs, and cats, and some kind of sheep like thing and said “We’re from our Government and we’re here to help.” Why they landed in Utah instead of on the East coast is unknown but maybe they had a metabolism kind of like a lizard or something, and due to their flatness the sun gave them the energy they needed. Sort of walking solar collectors if you will. A lot of people think that they’re wearing space helmets but we believe that is simply the shape of their heads. If they came from a place that had low oxygen content in their atmosphere their heads would have all swelled up like that to better assist in their O² intake. Plus it would keep the rain out of their eyes. Not to mention providing 360° vision.

I wonder that if they had space travel and the ability to be locked up in a space ship for weeks at a time and not kill each other, why they took such lousy pictures. I mean they can navigate across great interstellar distances and land on different planets to square them away with things like terraforming and genetic manipulations and cable and sex and the best they could do was beat on a rock with another rock and leave these images. That’s pretty pathetic.

But I mean, there they are. You can’t dispute that. Who were they. Where did they come from. What were their names. There were faded places on what must be uniforms that looked like they might have been name tags but they were so weathered you couldn’t make out what they said. They could have also been sponsor badges like they wear in NASCAR too. That seems more reasonable, after all long space voyages don’t come cheap even for advanced civilizations and it would make sense to have it sponsored.

Not much else is known about these guys other than they came, they saw, they left their sheep-like things and they bailed. There’s no fossil records of them, or parts of their vessels, or even random reading material they may have left behind. Magazines perhaps, or something off their best seller list. Nothing. It’s one of the great mysteries of our time. Who were these space folk, will they ever be back, do we owe them anything for the sheep-like things. There’s a lot of unanswered questions here and the only thing we have to go on are these lame photos they left behind. I think you’ll agree it’s mystifying. But then so are a lot of things. If we worried about all of them it would probably make our brains explode, so let’s not. I’m going to go and watch TV, maybe there’s something about it on the Sci-Fi channel.