Tag Archives: cow

The Visit

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2015-12-08The Visit7002

Now listen we’re going to visit the Bovinos today and I want you on your best behavior, you hear me?

Yes, mom

Don’t be pulling any stunts like you did last time. What possessed you to head-butt Lawrence anyway? you know how clumsy he is. That coffee table must have cost twenty bales of hay. You’re lucky she didn’t ask us to pay for it, your father would still be tanning your hide.

He’s a twit mom. Why do we even have to go over there?

Because she’s the herd bulls cousin and your dad wants to be on the board of directors of the MRAMA. That’s important. That means he’d be in charge of the entire Western region of the Madison River Affiliated Meadows Association and we’d have the best grazing in the entire Madison river valley. So we have to go make nice with them and see if we can’t make peace with her. I don’t much care for them either but we can at least go there and eat hay and talk. You can play with Lawrence but so help me if you head-butt him again, you won’t get any milk from me for a week. You got it?

Geez mom, I do. Man. What !  Ma! Now what?, I said I wouldn’t head-butt the little dork.

Don’t you use that tone of voice with me William Johnson, I’m talking about you doing your business in the hallway instead of out on the grass. I swear I do not know what has gotten into that melon of a head of yours. Are your horns starting to come out, is that it?

God mom don’t talk about that kind of stuff it’s embarrassing. And Lawrence locked the bathroom door so I couldn’t get in, the little toad, there was no way I was going to get outside in time. He’s always doing stuff like that. That’s why nobody likes him in nursery school. I may head-butt the little creep just for good measure.

William if you do I swear…..

Ok, Ok, Ok. Lets not stay too long alright. I don’t how long I can be good. Besides my forehead itches something awful. If that stupid Lawrence says one thing about these bumps I’m getting I will show him what a head-butt is. I don’t care if I ever get any milk again.

William for cripe’s sake if I have to tell you one more time…. Ok there they are, behave yourself now please, and for god’s sake do not try to nurse from Mrs. Bovino again. I don’t know if we’ll ever live that one down. I don’t care if your dad did think it was funny. Do not do that again. Oh Hi, Evelyn, it’s so nice to see you again. Yes it is a lovely day.

CowLick

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Socializing young elk is a full-time job for elk moms. Its late afternoon the kids are home from school and after snacks and some sprucing up its time to rejoin the herd for the evening get together. During the day the herd goes about its business with the cows finding out where the best new grass is, where the lazy no account bulls might be, and watching over the kids while they’re in school. There’s been some comments made about the length the recesses have stretched to since the cutbacks. It seems like they’ve been doing a lot more playing and a lot less studying, but since they’re only young once and for not very long at that, it’s ok. Mom will pick up the slack. Right now she wants to know how he got milkweed that far into his ear. His brother is taking full advantage of his siblings discomfort to get more than his share of the afternoon pick me up and it seems as if their daily activities aren’t much different from ours. I know my sister used to get milkweed in her ear and she turned out alright.

Spring Song

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It is not a very well-known animal fact that moose babies like to serenade their mothers whenever they can. According to Dr. Frieda Houf, our resident Mammologist and young moose specialist here at the World Headquarters of our Media Empire, young moose may have a more sinister motive to their singing than first imagined. It is her theory that the real purpose behind moose singing is a desire to drive their mother’s to a point where they don’t know if they’ve been snake bit or struck by lightning. When asked what benefit this would be to the youngster Dr. Houf replied, referring to her doctorial thesis, “My Moose, My Life, and the Power of Sensible Shoes”, The youngster, obviously hungry due to not eating for the last three minutes, must affect his mother’s behavior to get her on her feet so he may nurse. Singing to her in a voice that closely resembles that of a strangled cat, will often cause the mother to leap to her feet regardless of how tired she is and allow the young crooner access to breakfast.  Dr. Houf then referred us to the chapter in her thesis, ‘Life isn’t fair and it’s often unkind” where she explains this theory in greater depth. Unfortunately we have been using Dr. Houf’s book to hold up the corner of the garage here at the World Headquarters of our Media Empire compound I mean campus so we can not verify the accuracy of her information at this time. However as we have never actually caught her in an outright lie, we have to assume that there is a kernel of truth in what she is saying. What we do know with absolute certainly however is that this young moose family spent a sunny day in the willow thickets in the Indian creek drainage just past the obsidian cliffs here in Yellowstone National Park with Mom alternately resting and jumping to her feet when ever feeding time rolled around. Fortunately for the young singer Mom has infinite patience.