It’s Spring again and everything has been just as crazy up in Yellowstone National Park as it has been down here what with the threat of various virus’s and other problems such as layoff’s, furloughing, high unemployment amongst the animals that are the heart of Yellowstone. It has been a troublesome Spring. Every year when it gets close to the park reopening the National Park Service instructs the Federal Fish and Wildlife department to inventory, catalog, determine specie fitness and check each animal prior to opening the park for this years visitors. The animals need to ready for the long days of being on display and performing whatever their particulars species activities require.

As you might imagine this is a very large undertaking due to the size of the wildlife population that normally resides in the park. Just inventorying the Yellow-rumped warblers takes forever and they’re only one species out of 300 that call the park home. The initial groups brought in for re-indoctrination of park guidelines and requirements are of course, those species that are large enough to be problematic regarding interaction with the tourists, who as you would expect, have paid a large sum of money to view the wildlife and be entertained. They have high expectations due to being cooped up for the last several months with nothing to do but watch Nature programs on TV. Fortunately there are activities that the largest animals can participate in, such as Buffalo Soccer which is perfectly suited to the buffalos mentality and physique, and is a huge favorite of the foreign visitors to the park. You can expect to hear Gooooooal ! all thru the Hayden valley once the games start.

Other large animals that can require management due to their propensity for violence and misbehavior are the hooved ungulates, such as the Rocky Mountain Elk, who have a huge representation in the park. Mostly they are not considered to be a problem early on as they just eat and grow antlers until Fall approaches. Then they shed their antlers and begin to get all chesty as the “Rut” gets nearer. That’s where they get to choose as many cows as they can get their hooves on. Then it’s “Katy Bar the door!” as all hell breaks loose when these big boys battle to decide who the bull duck in the pond is going to be and who gets to keep all those cows they claimed. When this is happening no one can get near them without something terrible happening, as these 1200 lbs. love buckets care for only one thing and that is mating. The last thing on their minds is being sociable with tourists regardless of what those folks saw on TV. These animals are not here to be your new best friends.

To try and keep the damage down to a manageable level the Fish and Game department is trying something new this year. Yoga. One of the senior officials in the department was informed by his wife that Yoga is good for managing stress and anxiety, something these bulls have plenty of as they wait for the velvet to fall off their antlers, so why don’t you try Yoga to see if it doesn’t do the trick for settling these boys down. There have been several articles in Cosmo, Elle and Vogue that stated this was the new best thing to do and since this dialogue took place over a pitcher of Margaritas, there you have it. Yoga in the park and attendance is mandatory. The young fellow above is in his new favorite pose, Upward Facing Bull and as you can see by the sheer bliss settling over his face it appears to be working. Lets’ see how this all holds up in September when the Rut is starting. They may have to give Cosmos a call and get a retraction.