Redtail Hawk 1 Rattlesnake 0

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As they say out here in Colorado “The mail needed picking up” and since we occasionally get financial remuneration via snail mail and we haven’t had any interns able to pass the strict bonding requirements we have here at The Institute, it fell to the Director to go and get  the mail.

Our mail box is located down the five mile dirt road that gets you up and down from the mountain top The Institute is located on, to the modern one lane highway below. On the way down the ‘hill’ you run the chance of seeing wild animals being wild, such as turkeys walking around trying not to get eaten by the coyotes, elk in both male and female forms, mule deer of course, bears, just the black ones not the big grizzlies that roam further north, foxes, the red ones, the aforementioned coyotes, Eagles mostly Goldens but once in a while a bald one will fly by, and lots of birds. Everything from songbirds to grouse and now some Chukar. Hawks, falcons, pelicans flying by to get to somewhere where there is enough water, lots of migratory birds and our favorite species the Redtail hawk.

The Redtail is the hands down favorite because it does one really neat thing. It hunts, kills, and eats rattlesnakes. Rattlesnakes are what takes the fun out of running barefoot through the tall grass. Rattlesnakes bite. We had a neighbor near us, who was minding her own business doing absolutely nothing provoking, get bit and besides costing what a small Korean car costs it made her foot swell up to the size of your standard microwave oven. And she said it hurt too. A lot.

Most people in this country don’t like rattlesnakes. I mean, there’s a few that like them but they are not the majority by any means. People who don’t like them, the rattlesnakes not the people who do like them, generally hit them with a shovel until they’re dead. It is said by those folks who do like rattlesnakes that one of the reasons we should take these rattlesnakes close to our bosoms, are of the opinion that they do good by eating rodents, therefore let’s have them hang around doing that. Others say “Nope. Don’t think so. Gonna kill ’em”.  We believe that if they, the rattlesnakes, want to act that way they should do it way, and I mean way far away from where good American taxpaying citizens hang around. So there is a difference of opinion there.

It’s amazing that the Redtail hawk sides with the shovel smacking people and kill every one of those rattlers they see. They also pass this trait on to the young Redtail hawks by bringing home the snake, often still wriggling, for their little ones to eat. We at The Institute believe this is laudable behavior and compliment the Redtail parents on their good sense whenever we chance to speak with them.

The image above, which was taken just across the highway from our mailbox, shows the Redtail parent in the act of taking the rattlesnake it has just that moment caught, to a tall telephone pole where it would begin the process of making it not alive. Then it flew it back to the nest for the young to eat. We cheered and gave it the universal thumbs up gesture of approval before returning to sorting out the bills from the junk mail, then throwing the entire mess in the dumpster. I know, you’re saying if you’re just going to throw it all in the dumpster why bother sorting it out. We sort because every once in a while there is a check in there and then we’d have to go back and do dumpster diving which is not very dignified for a Director of a major Institute like ours to be doing. Which of course brings us to, if you’re looking for nominations for the “Most Useful Bird of the Year” award we heartily recommend Nature’s helper the Redtail hawk. Remember vote now and vote often. These birds need our support.

How To Pose A Chukar

Chukar9927Chukar   Long Canyon   Dead Horse Point                 click to enlarge

A lot of you have written in saying “Hey Director, What makes you so special? That wildlife photography isn’t so hard. My Uncle Skid, the loopy bastard, took a picture just as good as the one you posted the other day. Why should you get the big bucks? I want my donation back!”

Well Dear Reader, it’s like this. First let’s get one thing straight. You ain’t getting that donation back. Once you send it in and your check clears it’s gone. The Institute don’t do refunds. And stop calling, I’ve put you on Caller Reject. Besides who donates .86 cents, it cost me more than that to drive down to town in that blizzard and deposit that check.

But the important issue you raise, that of “that wildlife photography isn’t so hard” needs to be addressed. Perhaps some background might help to clarify what goes into producing an image such as the one above.

First is just wading through all the technical aspects of a photography shoot like this one. You have permits to get, which means dealing with government bureaucracy, there’s the talent to obtain which means talent agents, the scum of the entertainment world, there’s the talent themselves who are almost always prima donnas and impossible to work with, and then you get into the crew required to get the shoot ready.

We’re talking staging people who create the set, grips, lighting directors, food services for the talent and the crew, permits to park the catering bus on federal land, makeup, costuming, on site teachers to provide schooling for any minors that may be on the set and Chukar have a bunch of minors, they’re up to their little orange beaks in kids, and on and on. Now there’s even the folks from SPCA and now Peta to make sure no one hurts the feelings of the talent. They monitor how long you keep the talent in a particular pose so they’re not over-worked and see that they get breaks every 30 mins regardless of what that does to the light.. What it all adds up to is mucho dinero and the equivalent amount of brain-shredding hassle.

Then there is actually working with the talent, if they’re not stuffing their fat little faces at the seed bar until they can hardly waddle onto the set, they’re complaining about makeup, or the costumers didn’t fluff their feathers just right, or  they won’t stand in that spot because that’s doesn’t show their good side or they hold the entire shoot up while they take that call. “I’ll just be a minute.” Sometimes it easier to just shoot flowers, all they do is wiggle in the wind a little. That’s an easy problem to solve.

After fighting through all that you may actually get the picture. Then you have post processing, calling your agent so he can get this thing sold and coordinate the print and video sales and try to get that book deal sewn up. This ain’t easy bucko, in fact it’s pretty damn hard. I’d like to see your loopy Uncle Skid pull this off.

I didn’t even get into what happens when we do what is known in the biz as a ‘hazardous shoot’ or what we like to call “You bet your ass someone’s gonna die” situation when we work with the rough trade of the wildlife world, Grizzlies and Wolves. You wouldn’t believe what it costs to have a full-fledged medical team with life-flight helicopters standing by.

Thanks for the letter, it allows us to show you and the rest of our loyal readers what actually happens behind the scenes on your typical, average wildlife shoot. And why I get the big bucks. Hope this clears things up and tell your loopy Uncle Skid I said ‘hey’.