Well we don’t know if you know this or not but things aren’t always calm and collected here at *The Institute. Occasionally there are little problems that crop up and get out of hand. We’re not sure if it’s the holidays, or the election, or just things bubbling up inside of people’s lower intestine and getting too much for one to deal with.

There was a commotion down at our Visitors Center a day or two ago and the telegraph line was cut before we could get a handle on what the problem was. We sent a couple of the guys down to check on things and when they saw the smoke they knew that something had hit the fan. We’re up at the top of the mountain which as you know is where the big house and all the main Institute buildings are located, and the Visitors center is down the hill aways by the main gate. This is usually a place of peace and harmony where we check passports, review visitors financials, give any needed medical attention to those who tried to get  over the razor wire, and do the required intrusive strip searches that generally determine who is good and who is bad. We like to think it’s a friendly place where we get to know you better.

We get a lot of visitors, and although we have an open door policy where every creed, religion, sexual preference, skin color, dress style, tattoo style, political belief and any other bizarre behavior you may favor is tolerated, in actual practice it’s not for everybody. It’s kind of selective policy. It’s sort of loosely based on what The Director can stomach. If you fall into any of the objectionable categories, loosely defined by what would gag a normal person’s Hinder, then there’s a darn good chance you’re not making it through the gate. If you’re a bill collector you’re not getting in. We have legal beagles for that down in town, go see them. If you’re a politician, or a politician wannabe, you’re not getting in either. We don’t want your kind here, this is America and we get to say who we like and who we don’t. So it’s Tough, deal with it. And if they did a better job there’s a slim chance they could get in, but of course the morality quiz would still apply to them.

Yes having a policy like ours sometimes leads to issues. The Institute isn’t a democracy, it’s a benevolent dictatorship. Some folks find that uncomfortable but then they weren’t invited in the first place so too bad for them. We’re pretty cheesed off that someone took it upon themselves to complain about our system here at The Institute and did some minor damage down there at the Visitor’s center, but just remember, when you first came in we got your prints and they automatically go into the database, we know who you are. Just so you know, we have taken steps to prevent anything like this happening in the future. We’ve got just one word for you. Claymore’s. That’s right, claymore’s. You won’t find them but they’ll find you. So watch your step.

If you find yourself angry and out of sorts, and feeling like taking it out on those around you, do it to someone else. We’re fed up with it. This is the season of good spirits, fellowship, with love and kindness towards all. Enjoy the holidays.

* Note: For those of you unfamiliar with The Institute and what it does, please see the page labeled The Institute on the Menu Bar above. That should explain everything. You shouldn’t have one single question remaining regarding The Institute after reading it. None. For those of you favored few who already know about the Institute, Nevermind. Return to your daily activities. Thank you for your support.