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You know when girls get together to hang out it’s all “oooh, I like your shoes” and “Have you lost weight?” and “How’s your no-good husband?” They have an easy manner about them that is definitely girlie. They have no need for all of this physical masculine kind of stuff that guys do.

Guys on the other hand are different. For one thing they don’t give rat’s hind end about each others shoes or whether you’ve lost weight unless you have and they no longer get to call you ‘Lardo”. That can be a topic of conversation for a moment or two. “Hey Lardo, Whatcha doing, losing weight, ya toad-bastard.” Guys also have a much more physical way of greeting each other, high-fives, bumping fists, and in some cases rearing back and slamming their heads together as hard as they can. This is normally reserved for guys you know well and like. If this is done by someone you don’t know or like very much, you normally just shoot them.

The last time I saw two girls rear back and slam their heads together it was in a bar in Singapore. Now that was something. I’ve still got scars from that night. But it is not girls normal behavior. Some of the communication difficulties between men and women stem from the fact that guys are just different. For the most part guys don’t get it that women don’t understand that guys tend to be less delicate than they are and as such they act differently. Just ask any cage-fighter. They’ll tell you that if you can’t butt heads with a buddy you ain’t squat. Now if you tell that to a girl she’ll just look at you as if you are from another planet, says Mars for instance, and need serious therapy.

Well, I’ve thought about it and it’s a mystery we’re not going to solve today so I say ” You leave us to our head butting and we’ll leave you to talk about your no-good husbands.” and by the way, your shoes don’t make you look fat.