Bull Moose   Grand Teton National Park                      click to enlarge

This is an emergency warning from your Calendar Watch Committee. This is not a drill!  Warning to follow after the tone. We repeat, this is not a drill.

After doing some extensive research on the calendar for this year we have just discovered that this is December! And you know what that means. Christmas! There are only 17 days until Christmas! 17 ! Holy EmptyBoxes. Yeah I said Holy EmptyBoxes. How did this happen?

Did any of you know it was already December? Like my Uncle Skid used to say, “Jeezum Plutz! you guys” He said that because my mom’s sister’s Aunt Pheeb wouldn’t let him swear in the house, but it meant exactly what you must be imagining right now. Somebody’s ass is in a sling for not spreading the word.

Well amidst all the OMG’s and the screaming somebody with a brain in their head finally said we gotta get the warning out, so here it is.

“Wake up people, for god’s sake, it’s December!”

We should have gotten the warning out that December was approaching way back in October, but if you remember there were other things going on at the time. I’m not pointing fingers but if those doorknobs in Washington had had their act together instead of trying to see who could write their name in the snow quickest, we’d a looked at the calendar and everyone wouldn’t be in such a tizzy now. That’s just one more thing they’re going to have to answer for when they get back home at election time. Boy O Boy, I wouldn’t want to be them.

Alright, let’s everybody calm down. Take a deep breath, pass that egg nog around, and let’s look at this. Okay, we got the warning out, that’ll save some of them. We’ll tell everyone about the internet that’ll help too. We’ll pass out the low limit credit cards so they can shop and (pass that egg nog over here again. What did you put in this?)  maybe we can make it through this thing. I’ll have some more of that egg nog please. Things are shaping up already. (Really what did you put in this, this is good.)

OK, anything else comes up we’ll let you know.

Update!: We just received this email from one of our concerned readers.

Dear BigShots Now blog. I just got your warning about it being December, and Christmas and all. Thank you! I don’t have room for a calendar in the back of my Camry where I’m living. Am I screwed ? Sincerely, Dateless.

Dear Dateless, No, you are not screwed. You still have 17 days to get it together, find a job, buy a house, get a tree, get married, have some kids and sell that Camry. Plenty of time. Merry Christmas!, Sincerely, BigShots Now blog.