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It’s nearly, almost, finally completed. Our new addition here at the Institute is in it’s absolutely final phase. All we need to do now is polish up the Pergo and hang some paintings and we’re done.

Many of our concerned readers have been writing in asking “When will the remodel be over so you can quit screwing around and get back to writing good posts?” Well our answer is soon. As you know we periodically remodel parts of the headquarters building here at the Institute for our own benefit, I mean to improve working conditions, and for months we’ve been having to walk down this dismal hallway to use the executive washroom. It was dark, dingy, drab and the old paisley wallpaper was beginning to flake off the walls. It was time for a re-do, a complete make-over, let in some more light, dress the place up some and as you can see the results were nice.

As you know the Institute is totally funded by the Government grants we get for our bogus, I mean valuable research projects and from the support and generous donations of our loyal readers. As this is your money, both as a taxpayer and as a generous contributor, we make certain that it is money put to good use. At least some small amount of every single one of the dollars we get, from either our grant programs or from you, generous reader, is put towards one program or another that we are currently undertaking. Without giving away financial information our critics and competitors would dearly love to have, we can say with the utmost confidence, that entire teeny tiny amounts of nearly every dollar, and we’re talking two possibly even three teeny tiny amounts goes directly to fund some important program that brings untold benefits to the citizens of our great country. I’m talking America folks, where you can pull a scam like this, I mean perform a useful service to your fellow taxpayer, and they can’t stop you. Is this a great country or what.

To totally complete the project and tie up those pesky loose ends that are always part of a project like this, we’ve got to arrange to send the workers we borrowed from France back home. We needed them because they still know how to do stuff like this and we kind of like, don’t, anymore. Don’t even get me started about the loss of our guild programs here in the U.S. where you could send those young people and imprison them, I mean train them until they could do something useful, and as you could expect, there’s been a small disagreement about transportation issues.

It seems our migrant workers have decided that they are now too good to be traveling back as steerage in that very nice little freighter we reserved for them. We had the hold completely fumigated after the cattle were unloaded and there is ample space for all the crap they bought while they were here. We’ve even allowed them to shop at one of our big-box grocery stores so they could pack their own lunches for the trip home. That sense of gratitude that you would expect from providing work, living space, and other non-essentials like bread, sun-screen, ponchos for those blustery days, well actually they were those recycled black plastic trash bags with arm holes cut in them so they weren’t that expensive, but even so, those weren’t in our contract, and of course food above and beyond their 800 calorie a day diets, I don’t know, I’m kind of disappointed in this new trade agreement we have, it seems to me to be very one-sided in favor of the imported worker at the expense of those who don’t want to spend much money. But enough about our troubles.

The addition is done, the ungrateful, miserable and hard-to-understand workers are gone and we can get back to work again, writing better, if not darn good posts again. Which reminds me, the area around the sump pump in the art storage basement needs a new mosaic and with the troubles they’re having in Greece right now I understand you can pick up experienced tile setters now that the project in the acropolis has fallen apart, for almost nothing. So with that in mind, please keep those Eurodollars coming in so we can continue our necessary and needed work going at the level you’ve come to expect, after all we do this not for ourselves totally, but to raise your standard of living by our continued success. If we look good you feel better. Thanks America.