click to enlarge

Warning! Cloud Alert!  Clouds entirely too Low for Public Safety! Huge Shadows complicate vision!

We break into our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this important Public Service Announcement (PSA to those in the warning others business). There are cloud patterns forming all over the Southwest that could present dangerous conditions to those caught unaware. Abrupt summertime meteorology cause clouds to form that due to their rapid origination are too heavy to stay high in the sky where they belong. Their weight forces them ever downward until they begin to bang into the higher features in the landscape like Buttes, Promontories, Spires and other tall stuff, causing damage and unsafe conditions. So if you have a Butte make sure to keep it low to the ground and if possible, make sure to cover your Butte for maximum safety. Occasionally this phenomenon will be accompanied by shadows which obscure the landscape causing a deterioration in viewing conditions and moisture of unknown composition to fall onto the ground and anything on it. The obvious danger here is wetness, which can dampen your clothes and cause spotting on your glasses if you wear them.

If these conditions form while you are out viewing scenery, immediately crouch as low to the ground as your waistline will allow and cover your eyes and ears to prevent serious if not harmful damage to your own self and others around you. If you need to return to your vehicle before the conditions change, or you notice the cloud getting closer to you, carefully run backwards staying as low to the ground as possible and taking full advantage of any available cover such as low lying shrubbery or overhanging rocks. Keep calm. In some instances letting out low moaning sounds or saying ‘Ooooooh Mannnnn” quietly under your breath will help you stay focused until you reach safety. Secondary warning: Watch for Snakes. It may be preferable to be caught by a cloud as opposed to being bit by a snake. That is a decision you will have to make depending on prevailing conditions. A factor to consider while making this choice is the current cost of hospital care and the slowness of insurance companies to make payments. This may be complicated further by the high number of uninsured that clog up the emergency rooms while you are trying to be treated for snakebite. A little dampness and the cold clammy feeling of cloud shadow may be  preferable to catastrophic hospital bills. This is always a personal decision. Some people will choose snakebite over dampness because for them money is no object.

We here at the Institute, that of course is the Institute of Regained Knowledge, or IRK, strive to help our fellow man and provide these needed services free of charge so that you and your loved ones can have a safe and happy experience in the out-of-doors. Making you aware of the dangers that lurk outside your very doorways that could ‘Get You’ if you were not completely informed, has been one of the top priorities of our organization. No need to thank us, really, we do this as a public service in the hope that it enriches your lives and in some small unknown way ours too. Please help us help others by passing this message on and informing them that they too could be saved unknown amounts of trouble if they only read and subscribe to our blog.

Remember, Be Safe out there and if this does help or prevent some incredibly huge personal catastrophe you can go ahead and quietly thank IRK, we won’t mind.