Woe !  Despair !  Agony On Me !

“Where has the blog gone?” you say. “What’s happened? Have they found you?” is another question we get. “Is The Institute under siege?” No nothing so dramatic but that doesn’t mean we don’t have dramatic crap happening around here, because we do. Lots of it, and it’s the really dramatic kind too.

It’s computer trouble. How many times do you hear that now days? “We’re sorry but our computer system is down and we can’t you the results of your brain transplant until our tech gets here and he’s helping the folks at Burger Bloat get their system back online. They’ve got big trouble over there with people demanding their Giant eleven pound AchyBurger and Soggy Fries. We should have your results in the very near future, Sorry for any inconvenience.”

As you know if you know anything at all about The Institute, is that we try to keep our computer room rat-free. This has always been paramount to the running of our Cray computer system, the fastest, largest super-computer system in the English-speaking world, and we’ve been moderately successful given that our Cray computer is set up in a Tuff Shed so the heat it gives off doesn’t burn down the main building. We’d really be in a pickle if that happened, and as we were in a hurry to get it set up we decided against pouring a slab under the building and chose to set it on the bare ground instead. This was a time saving decision because we wanted to get it plugged in so we could get email and stuff. We see now in hindsight that it would have been better to pour the slab, as those pesky rats can burrow like some kind of demented badger, but it easy to throw stones now. It seemed like a good idea when we did it.

Unfortunately the Cray is where we store all of our images on those new little 3.5 floppy disks that are so handy. Well to cut to the chase here and save you some valuable time, some kind of Super Rat or maybe even a bunch of them found that the cables leading into the Cray tasted just like chicken and during this last snowstorm chewed through many of them and even ate some of the capacitors we hard wired into the cable for extra power. Well that tore it. Now we are scrambling like one of those monkeys with his football to try and salvage what we can. It looks like we are going to be able to save all of them (we hope) and will be back on the air, or I mean the page soon.

We are hoping that the government, that would be our government, seeing our distress would step in and provide us with one of their cast off NSA computers that they just throw in the dumpster if they get too many of them, suitably erased of all secret stuff of course, so we could get back to providing you with all the news and exposes, and events of little importance that you’ve come to depend on. So far they turned a deaf ear to our pleas. Perhaps if you wrote your representative a long letter asking them to intercede on our behalf they would show us some mercy and get us a computer muy pronto. But it would take all of you with some of you even writing two, or maybe several hundred letters to get their attention. So if you’re not doing anything right now, sit down and write like a crazy person. It may help, or it may get you on one of those lists the government keeps, we don’t know, but the effort counts. Thanks in advance for your support and we hope to be back up and running like the well oiled juggernaut of information you’ve come to love.