So’dja see that cartoon I sent ya. I don’t get it. What’s so funny about 50 shades of Hay?
Monthly Archives: November 2014
We Come In Peace
I’m not saying we here at The Institute believe in this but when you have incontrovertible proof right in front of your face it’s pretty difficult to ignore. If you’re confused and I’m pretty sure you might be, we’re talking about extraterrestrial beings in the shape of bubble-headed flat people that arrived here about 8000 years ago to straighten this place out.
They arrived en masse with all their dogs, and cats, and some kind of sheep like thing and said “We’re from our Government and we’re here to help.” Why they landed in Utah instead of on the East coast is unknown but maybe they had a metabolism kind of like a lizard or something, and due to their flatness the sun gave them the energy they needed. Sort of walking solar collectors if you will. A lot of people think that they’re wearing space helmets but we believe that is simply the shape of their heads. If they came from a place that had low oxygen content in their atmosphere their heads would have all swelled up like that to better assist in their O² intake. Plus it would keep the rain out of their eyes. Not to mention providing 360° vision.
I wonder that if they had space travel and the ability to be locked up in a space ship for weeks at a time and not kill each other, why they took such lousy pictures. I mean they can navigate across great interstellar distances and land on different planets to square them away with things like terraforming and genetic manipulations and cable and sex and the best they could do was beat on a rock with another rock and leave these images. That’s pretty pathetic.
But I mean, there they are. You can’t dispute that. Who were they. Where did they come from. What were their names. There were faded places on what must be uniforms that looked like they might have been name tags but they were so weathered you couldn’t make out what they said. They could have also been sponsor badges like they wear in NASCAR too. That seems more reasonable, after all long space voyages don’t come cheap even for advanced civilizations and it would make sense to have it sponsored.
Not much else is known about these guys other than they came, they saw, they left their sheep-like things and they bailed. There’s no fossil records of them, or parts of their vessels, or even random reading material they may have left behind. Magazines perhaps, or something off their best seller list. Nothing. It’s one of the great mysteries of our time. Who were these space folk, will they ever be back, do we owe them anything for the sheep-like things. There’s a lot of unanswered questions here and the only thing we have to go on are these lame photos they left behind. I think you’ll agree it’s mystifying. But then so are a lot of things. If we worried about all of them it would probably make our brains explode, so let’s not. I’m going to go and watch TV, maybe there’s something about it on the Sci-Fi channel.
Going To Check The Mail
We all have our morning routines. Sometimes it’s just opening the front door and picking up the newspaper, or walking out to the curb to see if the mails come yet. Some of us have to make the arduous trek down three flights of stairs balancing a steaming hot cup of tea to the office to check the messages that may have come in overnight. Or you might turn on the TV to catch CNN to see what major catastrophe has caught the world unaware while you were sleeping. Whatever it is it’s a good bet you do it every single morning.
Others less fortunate than us, who live in a different place, like maybe Monument Valley, have an entirely different routine. They might have gotten up with the sun and dressed quickly because it is cold here in the morning in this open place, after all the deep blue starlight has been falling on this land all night long and that makes the ground very cold. Hurrying to miss the morning rush hour they have to go out and catch their ride for the morning commute. Luckily traffic is light this morning so that’s a good start to the day.
It’s a couple of miles down to the road from the house, then 17 miles to the front gate out on hwy 163 where the mailboxes are. Before they put the boxes in they would have had to travel an extra 22 miles to Kayenta to get to the Post Office. There had better be at least a Sears catalog in there to make the trip worth while. By then it would almost be breakfast time and a stop at the Blue Coffee Pot restaurant for some frybread and coffee would be in order. Now since things have gotten fancy everywhere they can go to Burger King for a Sausage Breakfast Burrito, or even a Croisanwhich if they’re more adventurous. But when the fun was over they had the return trip back home to look at.
That usually took up most of the morning and after turning Roy out into the corral they still had sheep to shear, horses to brand, goats to milk, Hogan’s to repair, tourists to look at, the catalog to read and all kinds of other everyday stuff to do. Just speaking Navajo all day long is a chore. Just try saying ” Tó Dínéeshzheeʼ “ which is Dineh for Kayenta a couple of dozen times and you’ll see what I mean.
And of course their biggest and most important job was Scenery Inspection, making sure that nothing had changed overnight. That all the buttes and mesas and wide open spaces were still exactly where they were supposed to be. Nothing out-of-place and all is still right with the world, at least as far as The People see it.
I’m beginning to think my morning routine and my whole day for that matter, needs a little perking up. How about you, are you satisfied with your day.
Horn Tooting
I have just found out that a famous international software company has chosen this image “Bosque Sunrise” to illustrate how a feature in their software works. Besides being a real ego boost this allows many, many people who use this software, or are considering it, to see my work. Thanks to them for including me.
This image was created at Bosque del Apache National Wildlife Refuge in New Mexico on a cold winter morning several years ago. Bosque, as it is usually called, is located on a major flyway and noted for having extraordinary populations of Snow Geese and Sandhill cranes. It was taken moments before the entire population of Snow Geese erupted off the surface of the pond in a massive liftoff called the ascension. This is a daily event where literally thousands of birds fly a few yards over your head in a loud roar of honking, calling and flapping their wings as they leave the ponds to start their day. They are so close you can hear individual wing beats and feel the rush of air as they stream by overhead. It’s all over in a minute or two and suddenly the pond is quiet again. It is like Avian fireworks and is an unforgettable experience. In fact birders, photographers, and tourists arrive from all over the world to do just that. It feels good to have some of your work recognized.
This was a nice way to start the day.
Mothers And Sons
There are few things stronger in this world than a mother’s love for her son. Not Superman, Chuck Norris, The Republican Party, or the Democrats for that matter. Not titanium or spider silk, or gravity or The GNP, none of that even comes close to the protective state a mother is in 24 hours a day.
This is most visible when the son is small, like under thirty, and lasts until she takes her last breath. I don’t think there is anything that can be done to break that bond. Even when it should be broken or at least altered. You may try to convince her that her love is being abused or ignored or discarded but you can not make her stop. No force exists that can do that.
We may not be able to understand why in some cases this love is extended, when we as outside observers think it should not be, but we know for certain it will be. James Thurber once said ” Boys are beyond the range of anyone’s sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.” I think he left out something. Mothers do. They understand. Blind to facts, or all-knowing, they get right to the core of things, he’s my son I love him. Nothing else matters.
The image above was taken early one spring, high up on the side of Mount Washburn in Yellowstone. This mother and her cub, just out of the den, were spending the day looking for ground squirrels. A sizable group had gathered to watch them and a natural boundary of 100 plus yards formed just on the basis of the looks the mother would give as she surveyed the crowd. You could feel her protectiveness. Such is life, for mothers will be what they will be and that is a fact. Regardless of the problem, regardless of the personal cost, regardless. This is the state of mothers and sons.
That Quiet Place
If ever I need a quiet place to retreat to I have it here. These are my rocks, my trees, my place of quiet introspection. Calmness abides here and if you have need of some simply enter and let your self be overtaken by its deep tranquility. It can keep darkness at bay and you may find a fresh perspective on all that is troublesome in your life. There is a remarkable strength in peaceful places like this and it can replace much within you that has been eroded by life’s challenges. It my hope that if you find yourself lost in the daily chaos you too have a quiet place you can visit when the need arises.
7 Horses 0 Degrees
We’ve been having some cold weather here. Not your -80° that those folks in the upper Midwest are so proud of, but 0° and lower, maybe down to -12° overnight. It’s bearable, unless you happen to be living in the back of a ’73 Honda Accord, then you may have a different opinion.
These guys are just coming back from checking out the thermometer hanging on the power pole down next to the mailboxes and are seriously considering their options. They were doing pretty good until they found out how cold it is. Their coats show you what time of year it is, Winter time, as they have morphed into their cold weather phase as their color clearly shows.
All horses, regardless of their summer color, change into this dark brown russet color to conserve body heat and also act as a solar collector the few times the sun shines during these cold snaps. Tests have been performed by qualified test administers to determine how much heat the internal areas of these horses can maintain by utilizing this system. The results show that the average temperature of a horse at rest and not watching anything on TV like the Kentucky Derby which can skew results dramatically are 99.5° to 101.5°. These of course are summer temperatures. Winter temperatures vary depending on how brown their coats get and to some degree ambient temperatures.
If you look closely at the horses feet you will notice that each has a set of black “socks” on. These are not purely decorative although western horses are not above a little vanity, but are actually indicators of the horses internal temperature. The higher the ‘sock’ the higher the horses temperature. Socks ending right below their knees or knee-high socks as the vets describe them, indicate the horse’s temp is within the normal operating range. A horse with socks clear up to its undercarriage has a fever and should be monitored closely. A height of halfway between ankle and knee, midway on the cannon bone, is the average normal height for mares and some studs however some geldings will wear full-length stockings. This does not indicate a fever but is generally due to individual preference.
The last horse in the line has not completed it color phase change and unfortunately is doomed. You’ll notice that he is last in line and the other horses realizing that he’s about to become dog food have already started to distance themselves from him. He has that forlorn look that the soon to croak get when they know the end is near. The diagnosis is a symptom the vets call “J-A-R” which in vet speak means “Just Ain’t Right”. Sad as it may seem it is only nature’s way of determining who makes it and who don’t. I use the contraction “don’t” instead of “doesn’t ” because that is how we talk out here in the west. It’s normal usage as in “He don’t make much sense for a guy that’s been schooled.” and shouldn’t be used to belittle us or make us the butt of your eastern humor. Remember, we have the highest number of Concealed Carry permits in the country.
There may be a small ray of hope for that pale horse and that may lie with whether or not the nearest neighbor opens their heart and their front door to allow the horse to stay inside until the weather breaks some time in May. Adequate measures must be taken with provisions such as clean straw placed next to the couch and changed regularly at least once a week, a selection of summer hays, not winter grass, remember he hasn’t completed his color phase change so his diet is tied to his color state which is summer, and his TV watching should be closely monitored. No Western Channel or equestrian events as he needs to be kept as calm as possible. No watching the Nature Channel for the same reason and absolutely no exposes on topics such as “What really goes into dog food”, or “Soap, just how is it made”. This could have a disastrous effect on his temperament and that is linked directly to his digestive tract and that should be avoided if possible.
We are supposed to get warmer temps here and that will help as we’d like to keep the body count down. If you live in other parts of the country you may want to check your stock to see that they have all completed their color phase changes and if they haven’t start making preparations for keeping them inside. Hope you’re wintering well.
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