As you can see by our special Announcement image above this is a special announcement and the Raven is here because today we have a very special announcement to make.

August 13th is Chad Aaron Lutsey’s birthday!!!!!

Today, as some of you know, is August the 13th. August the 13th is a very special day at the Institute because it is the birthday day of a very special person. So special that it has been declared by the Director himself to be an annual day of celebration. Everyone and we mean everyone at the Institute has been given the day off to help celebrate this special persons special day.

Lamprey sandwiches and leaf soup, and for those with a sweet tooth, our favorite eel ice cream floats were prepared yesterday so the galley crew could have the day off. Those staffers that have been in detention for their various infractions of the rules, now working in the quarry mining gypsum and asbestos, have the day off and as a special treat do not have to wear their manacles today. They still have to stay within the quarry boundaries but they are allowed to get out of the sun.

All official duties are suspended until midnight tonight and everyone, even those in the infirmary are required to form up in the compound, I mean courtyard, this morning to sing Birthday wishes for one of the Institutes beloved sons, Chad Aaron Lutsey. Upon completion all will send up three lusty huzzahs and wave the little flags provided them. All those not  waving their flags enthusiastically enough  will spend the day in the quarry.

Today is a fun-filled day, chock full of festivities such as Bear Baiting, Intern wrestling, Stomping and Dancing, The Yelling Contest, and games, boy o boy, do we have games. There is Bobbing for Gilas, always a crowd favorite to see who can snatch North Americas only poisonous lizard out of the water with their teeth without getting bitten, Dunk your Favorite CEO, Elk Pellet Stacking, the kids love this one,  Free the Princess, an axe throwing contest where contestants get the opportunity to throw axes at our resident princess until all her bonds are severed and she’s set free, and many, many more.

Those who imbibe and who doesn’t, can whet their whistle at the Sage Brush beer tent, where we serve our own house brew of sage brush, leaves, some bark and 80% Everclear. This morning at 5:15 they were already lined up at the spigot for their chance to get blotto before the sun comes up. Of course we recommend drinking responsibly so anyone who gets too inebriated automatically gets 30 days in the quarry. But we encourage you to have fun and enjoy yourselves.

There will be story telling and fire walking and free tattoos of Chad and his Big Dog Sam. Children under 12 must have parents permission for tattoos. NO facial tattoos will be done regardless of the individuals sobriety level. We want to have fun, not get stupid.

As a super special treat Chad’s younger brother Rob, seen here taking time away from his supervision of our workers in the quarry, is getting ready to fire up our giant soup ladle and start dishing up some of that scrumptious leaf soup for our hungry partiers.

To show our birthday boy how much we love him we have put together a small portfolio of pictures celebrating Chad’s birthday.

 Here’s our birthday kid when he was 27 years old. We finally got him to give up the bear the following year.

Like all young boys he likes guns and leather but not the Village People and is seen here shortly before that wagon tongue slipped and produced a wide gap between his front teeth.

Here he is slightly older trying to get into my good graces by presenting me with a granddaughter. He was successful.  However that was primarily due to the excellent work provided by his more than wonderful wife Stacey. My fantastic granddaughter Kaitlin is 19 now and college bound so we won’t embarrass her further.

Lastly we see Chad as a fully formed adult, in training to be the next Director of The Institute. He is desperately trying to identify the animal in the background but is having trouble due to its fuzziness. He knows I’m going to quiz him on it and he is terrified of disappointing me. He may make up a name for it so I won’t criticize him and make him carry all the heavy equipment for the rest of the day. I know that game and had already decided he was going to carry the heavy stuff anyway. But being true to himself and showing exactly what he is made of, he correctly identified the fuzzy animal as a Black-horned Rhino, rarely if ever seen in Yellowstone, and didn’t complain when I made him carry the heavy stuff anyway.

The festivities are well under way and security has already broken up three fights in the girls dorm so I must go oversee the activities. If you would like to join in and help celebrate the day you can send your very own birthday wishes to Chad at chad.lutsey@gmail.com .  All are welcome to do so, he’ll love to hear from you and you’ll feel good all day.

Happy Birthday son, Love Dad.