Monthly Archives: March 2014

As Escher Sees Eagles

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EscherEagles6691Osprey or Fish Eagles Yellowstone      click to enlarge

M. C. Escher was a Dutch artist who created fantastical images of staircases twisting and turning back onto themselves, repeating patterns, hands drawing each other, many scenes of an architectural bent (No pun intended… maybe ) that make you dizzy when you try and follow the lines through the pictures, and multiples of repeating patterns, such as fish gradually turning into birds as your eye travelled over the image. His style of art was based originally on architectural features he found on buildings in Italy when he traveled there. He is kind of a famous art  guy whose work you will recognize immediately whether you know his name or not.

It is unclear whether Escher spent any time at the Calcite Springs overlook in Yellowstone, him being a Dutch guy that rarely left Europe, but had he, he would have seen this view and I’m pretty certain it would have sent his little neurons firing themselves into a frenzy with all the possibilities for creating new work.

During my research I was unable to ascertain if Escher had extensive knowledge of Fish Eagles or Osprey as they are better known here, but I’m sure he would have added them to his drawings just because they are so cool looking sitting there. If I ever run across the guy in a future life and I can speak Dutch I’m going to check that out.

I think I’m on to something here. I think spending time in Yellowstone is more than just photographing the occasional grizzly or wolf. I think there might be sights and experiences here that will stir your imagination in other ways, so I’m going to keep my eye out, figuratively speaking, for other examples of art that may be hidden in this incredible place. In fact I heard that there is a girl working at the Food court at Fishing Bridge visitor center that looks just like that girl who Rembrandt painted, the smiley face one. I’m going to go check that out.

Moonlight On The Pines

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Moonlightonthe PInes7666

Madison River Valley Yellowstone          click to enlarge

Driving back from a day’s shoot I always looked forward to entering the east end of the Madison river valley for the final 14 miles back to West Yellowstone where hopefully one of the towns restaurants would still be open so I could get dinner before I got to my room and the nights work of transferring images to safe storage and prepping for the next days shoot.

There is something about the Madison that is addictive. It’s the first place I head for when I arrive in the park and the last I travel through on my way back home when the trip has ended. There is always something happening along the banks of this slow flowing river. The buffalo and elk herds gather here to have their calves in the spring. Canada geese hatch their young and take refuge on it when a wandering coyote nears, hoping to catch a gosling or two. Wolves patrol the far bank en route from one wolfish activity to another. In the fall bull elk do battle along the river and sometimes in it for the right to collect cows for their harem and sometimes I think just for the sheer enjoyment of it. Otters will travel down the river, swimming, playing, occasionally catching trout nearly as long as they are. All of these things and more happen in other parts of the park too but somehow they’re more special when they’re observed here.

Besides the wildlife there is just the sheer overwhelming beauty of the place. Driving into the valley at first light when the fog drifts across the road and shadowy elk and buffalo slowly take form as you pass by. The suns rays slicing through the mist that blankets the river and lighting up the boulders above 7 mile bridge. Watching the elk herds stir to life as the day begins, the new calves frolicking in the wet grass, you think that the very best time to be here is the break of day.

But then you are headed home after a long day working all the other incredible places in the park and you’re tired and hungry and want to get back and take your shoes off and drink a nice hot cup of tea. You need to decompress from everything you’ve seen and done and one of the best ways to do that is to slowly make the drive back along the Madison and watch as the skies slowly darken and the colors change from bright blue to indigo, and the sunset displays in every color of the spectrum until night falls. And you think this is the very best time to be here.

The image above, a study of blues, always reminds me of Emmy Lou Harris’s song “Easy From Now On” which had the phrase “A Quarter Moon in A Ten Cent Town” from her album of the same name, not so much because of the words but more the sound of it. The way the haunting melody shapes the music of her words adds their richness to the vision and totally completes this image. Then I’m sure this is the best time to be here.

Somethin Ain’t Right

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Problem1733Bull Elk Rocky Mountain National Park    click to enlarge

Rumors had been drifting down the mountainsides here in Colorado that there was something amiss in the elk community up at Rocky Mountain National Park. Many of the bull elk could be seen gathered together talking amongst themselves, glancing with a certain amount of defiance and suspicion at the people passing by in their cars. There was disquieting talk that something was different this spring and it felt as if there was unwelcome and threatening change in the air.

Finally the suspense broke and a declaration was made. The bulls put out a pronouncement. After lots of arguing, debating and head butting it was decided that this spring the bulls were not going to drop their antlers as they have done for countless springs before. Above is a three-day old image of one of the central participants in this new movement defiantly and nonchalantly still sprouting his year old antlers, defying age-old traditions as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Now some of you may not realize what an extraordinary, astonishing thing this is. This is equivalent to Congress suddenly announcing that they were not going to work together, or take a pay cut, or get things done that were actually beneficial to the people they’re supposed to be serving, or stop being stupid, or lower taxes, or care for the sick, well you know, an impossible expectation.

Well as you have come to realize, this is the kind of event that The Institute exists for. We immediately began centralizing our resources, pulling our stringers in from the far-flung corners of the globe, scrambling our mobilization team. We began deciding who was going to do what, cleaned and tuned up our gear, made certain our lines of communication were open and sprang into action. Our crack researchers began researching when was the last time elk had refused to drop their antlers, if ever. Our tame photographer was sent to take pictures of any elk that still had their antlers on and there were many, our archivists began searching through old copies of Outdoor Life, Sports Afield, Cosmopolitan, Boy’s Life the official magazine of the Boy Scouts of America, for any mention or reference to previous occurrences of this phenomenon.

It is an awesome sight to see an organization like The Institute bringing its full weight to bear on a situation like this. We immediately began hearing from the other major news gathering organizations, When did we first learn about this? Were the elk serious? Had there been any commercial repercussions from this remarkable situation? Would this affect the local economy? Is this a bunch of bull? Did this mean there was a new policy regarding the elks right to retain their own antlers or was this simply a splinter group seeking media attention? Had there been any official comment by the Fish and Game department as to what steps might be taken if the elk continued to refuse to shed their antlers? Was there going to be a show of force? Was it true there had been a run on hacksaw blades at the local Ace hardware store? Who were these new elk and who was their leader? Are there any connections to elk in other parts of the world, namely the middle east? Will you share your information with the world?

There it was. The question that made all of our efforts and pain and commitment worthwhile. Will you share your information with the world?  Of course we will world. It is our Prime Directive. It is why we constantly lobby our representatives in our lackluster congress for more funding so that we can continue to exist and bring important stories like this to you, our fellow citizens. When this question was related to our staff, there was a moment of solemn silence as the importance of that question began to sink in until suddenly a rousing cheer went up, coffee cups and copy machines, desks and our expensive new $28,000 dollar printer were thrown into the air in celebration and this outpouring of emotion lasted until we brought in the dogs to regain order. Then everyone quickly rejoined the frenzy of activity and work that is the heart and soul of our organization, The Institute. In the past we have had to take difficult measures with our staff to keep them focused on the task at hand. Not this time, we didn’t have to cancel the Sponge Cake Bonanza in the cafeteria that everyone looks forward to, we didn’t have to spike their coffee with Mad Dog 20-20 to keep them energized. This was a genuine heartfelt response and desire to get this information and get it to you, our loyal readers. This unbridled spirit of cooperation brought a tear to the eye of many a harden staffer I can tell you.

Well it is day 4 and counting since this dramatic situation developed. We are still hard at it. As you might expect we have our experts up in the park to constantly monitor the situation and if there is any breaking news we will be there to observe, record, and distribute the newest developments. Stay tuned world, important things are happening.

Marooned!

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Marooned9280Grizzly Yellowstone                        click to enlarge

Piracy! You don’t often associate it with Yellowstone National park but it is a little known fact that piracy is still practiced along the Yellowstone river today. On nights when the moon is full and thin clouds scud along the mountains tops you can often see a shadowy silhouette of a three-masted East Indiaman turned pirate ship, tacking into the wind as it glides down the Yellowstone looking for a rich merchantman to capture.

This particular ship has been renamed the Quedagh Merchant after Captain Kidd’s famed fighting ship in the hopes that it would bring its present crew good fortune and large prizes. Swag and booty for all and the pleasure of the chase was their goal and the crew was constantly on the lookout for the next conquest.

As this was a large ship being 171′ long and 30′ wide with nearly 10,000 square feet of sail it took a crew of large, burly sailors to handle her. The only creatures big enough in Yellowstone to sail her was a crew of the largest, meanest, most foul-tempered grizzlies that could be found along the banks of Yellowstone river. She sailed with a skeleton crew because try as they might they could never bring her up to a full complement of crew members. Being constantly short-pawed as it were, every sailor mattered, as the success of their ventures was decided by whether or not they could muster enough fighting bears to overpower the ships they attacked.

The Captain of this vessel was a terrifying giant of a bear known by the name of Captain Rend. Weighing close to 1200 lbs. and standing 11′ tall at the shoulder, armed with five razor-sharp claws on each front paw and a willingness to use them without hesitation, he was perfectly suited to command this vessel and her unruly crew. He demanded absolute and total obedience at all times and the slightest infraction was met with immediate punishment, swift and brutal. This could range from denying the accused his share of the swag and booty, to being subject to 10 swipes of the captains claws across their hairy backs. Keelhauling, which is the dragging of the condemned under the ship by a rope tied to the front and back legs, a favorite pirate punishment, was not possible on the Quedagh Merchant due to the shallowness of the river and the effort it took to drag a 800-900 Ib. bear under the ship. These sailors were strong but even they had their limits.

A sailors greatest fear however weren’t the punishments mentioned above for there was a far worse fate that could happen to him. Something they feared above all else, and that was marooning. Marooning was the act of being left alone on a deserted island without food or water until the condemned perished alone in agony and despair. It was one of the only ways, beside personal combat, to keep a gang of murderous wretches in line and so it was used, but sparingly. You had to do something pretty disreputable to get marooned. But what we have here is a pretty disreputable bear.

Named Astonishment Jones because of the look he got on his face whenever he was accused or caught doing something wrong, he finally stepped over the line, his crime, sneaking down into the hold and guzzling what was left of their meager store of rum. The Captain had absolutely no patience or mercy left for a pirate that would steal from his fellow shipmates. He ordered him marooned at the next island they came to. Put ashore on this little isolated island in the middle of the vast Yellowstone river with just enough food to give him time to reflect on his fate, he watched in astonishment as the ship slowly vanished into the evening mists, his former crewmates flashing their claws and growling curses at him, before disappearing into the night.

We’re not certain whether he remained there until the end, or if he was picked up by another ship passing by, or if he decided it was better to just attempt the long swim towards shore in the hopes that he could make it before he lost his strength and drowned. As of this time the fate of Astonishment Jones is unknown, but what is known, is that on a dark night when the moon is full you can see a great ship, manned by a crew of blood-thirsty grizzlies, climbing the masts to unfurl the sails, hauling on lines, their deep throated chants floating across the still water, sailing majestically down the Yellowstone river on the hunt for its next victim. A rich merchantman perhaps, or a sloop carrying a full cargo of buffalo parts to the market where the river and Yellowstone lake join, or even the unwary kayaker, caught out alone, who didn’t believe in the Pirates of the Yellowstone river.

Daylight Saving Time

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DaylightSaving5518Snow Goose – Bosque del Apache        click to enlarge

Hey people, It’s Daylight Saving time in many parts of America today. It sounds weird to say Daylight Saving time, which is singular, instead of Daylight Savings time, which is plural. You’re supposed to say Daylight Saving time when you’re talking about one event like Spring Forward, or Fall Back, and Daylight Savings time when you’re discussing the time change process in general. Like when you say to your neighbor over a warm shot of tequila “Say that Daylight Savings time is something, ain’t it? All changing back and forth like that.” Everyone around our neighborhood says Daylight Savings time regardless and don’t really give a large Rat’s posterior whether it’s right or wrong. But then I live in a low-income neighborhood.

Did you remember? Did you get up or did you take advantage of that extra hour to sleep in? Guess what this guy did? The goose above I mean. If you guessed he slept in you’re today’s winner and you get an extra helping of cauliflower puree at Aunt Pheeb’s Happy Daylight Savings time dinner tonight.

Of course while he was sleeping everybody else got up and went to work like good little geese and now he’s late. He didn’t get the memo on which cornfield they’re going to be ransacking today, his girlfriend didn’t wake him up and he’s bent about that, and he has to flap all the way to where he thinks they are on his own because there’s nobody to do the V thing with. And to top it off he has to honk until his honker is sore to find them. This isn’t shaping up to be a good day to be him.

Now you’re probably saying to yourself “Now wait just a gosh-darn minute here, bucko!” this scenario happens in the Fall when the time changes to Fall back rules. Time goes back an hour and catches everybody off guard so they don’t get up in time and they’re all late and miss planes, burn the toast, and it’s still dark out when they get up and they can’t see good, etc. Remember last year? That was when Uncle Skid backed over the lawn mower in the dark on his way to the seven-Eleven to get cigarettes and it punctured the gas tank in his ’85 Buick LeSabre and it caught fire and exploded and Aunt Pheeb had to bring him lard soup because he wouldn’t eat that health food crap they tried to feed him in the hospital. This time change stuff can be tricky.

Or you know what? It could be the other way around entirely and all this stuff could be happening because of the Spring Forward thing. I told you this time change stuff is tricky. And to add to the problem there are places in our great country that have said “To hell with it.” and don’t even recognize the whole time change thing. That’s where this guy is from so he is constantly confused as to what time it is. Those folks that don’t recognize the time change thing, which is used by ‘Them’, to trick Able-bodied, Red-blooded Americans into thinking there’s more daylight than there really is, use the old system where, ‘when it gets dark they go to bed and when it gets light they get up’. They’re what we call Contrarians. Like on some of Indian reservations and Arizona.

I understand contrarian. But as luck would have it they had one not so evil genius on the program when they set this whole thing up that said “Let’s do it on a Sunday so it screws the least amount of people up.” So because of that guy (Thank you buddy) I just get up when I feel like it, go around and change my clocks, finding out first which direction they go, have breakfast, drink a little tea and am thankful I don’t have to find where everybody else is or flap my brains out trying to get there or wear my honker to a nub calling for them. So regardless of whatever the “Great Gray They” do, I’m cool.

By the way, it is 8:00am Daylight Savings time as I’m writing this. Hope it is where you live too.

Camo – It’s Not Just For Wearing To Wal-mart Anymore

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Camo2173Lizard, Page Arizona                            click to enlarge

Ever since the popularity of Reality TV we’ve noticed an uptick on people wearing camouflage. You see it everywhere. There doesn’t seem to be a public place you can visit now where you won’t see someone, or a group of someone’s, wearing what is now known simply as Camo.

What all these people have to hide is beyond me. They can’t all be in witness protection. The varieties of Camo are also amazing. There are sports camo, fashion camo, swim camo, arctic camo, jungle camo, urban camo, camo specifically for Pennsylvania, army camo, Baptist camo, Specialty camo, like guys wear that hide in the grass and shoot other guys, Camo you wear fishing, camo lingerie, camo flavored pop tarts, camo wax, camo classes to learn how to speak camo, the variety seems endless.

What’s more, through some kind of osmosis, animals have begun picking up on this trend and many of them have developed their own specific kind of camo as you can see in the image above. That’s right camo wearing lizards for instance. I don’t know how they found out about it. Maybe through some kind of exposure to TV rays or something. This intrigued us here at the Institute and we decided to send one of our top herpetologists out in the field to bring back a report on this newest phenomenon.

We chose the one everyone calls Lizard boy since he was observed eating flies off the wall of his tent, to go to Page, Arizona where the barely noticed lizard was last seen. He was wearing camo after all, the lizard not the Lizard boy, wait, the Lizard boy was wearing camo too, anyway he was the only one available so off he went.

The reports we got back were scattered and somewhat fly-specked but it seems that this new lizard camo is so effective that our field agent couldn’t locate it. Neither the lizard nor the camo. There was no lizard to be found. There were places where a lizard might have been, which were identified by the lack of any insects within the effective tongue range of a lizard, (in this case we believe a zebra-tailed lizard) which in this species is 3.9cm, but it was hard to confirm that identification due to the fact that the lizard was camouflaged. This was disappointing as we had spent a lot of time and money on this research with absolutely nothing to show for it.

All in all this has been a compete bust, No lizard, no reports, no Lizard Boy, he’s gone, there’s no sign of him anywhere. Although come to think of it, if he was able to get a hold of some of that new lizard camo he could have  been standing right there and we’d never have noticed him.

Some of the conclusions we were able to come to, were, camo works, it’s popular, not just in the deep south like before but everywhere. It’s pervasive. It’s not unusual to see chic young women entering swanky Spas on Rodeo Drive wearing spa camo or dancing the Hollywood nights away in sultry disco camo. It’s a wonder that anyone can find anyone else nowadays.

We still have the problem of finding our herpetologist, Lizard Boy. We can’t just leave him out there, lying in the sun with his tongue out, stuffed to the gills with flies, so we’re sending one of our staff retrieval specialists out to bring him back. That is if we can locate any of our Institutes’ vehicles after we had them painted in the newest camo colors.

Still Life

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StillLife5820Forest Scene Yellowstone                    click to enlarge

This is a tricky time to be talking about the weather. You have to watch what you say constantly as the forces that control things are ever on the alert for some rash statement about the current conditions. The process of changing between the seasons must be a fairly stressful time for the cosmos. You’ve got the ones that want it to stay winter because that’s their thing. And then you’ve got the proponents for change, the ones that figure its been cold long enough lets move on into spring. We like those guys the best.

But like I said you’ve got to be very careful when voicing your opinions at this tumultuous time. If the cold guys are still in ascension and you start demanding stuff like “Alright all ready. Enough of this cold crap, I am ready for Spring.” and they hear you, and they’re like having a bad day, pretty soon you’re gonna have a Saskatchewan screamer roaring up your miniskirt and you will regret your poor choice of words.

ON the other hand the spring guys are just waking up, they haven’t had their coffee yet, nobodies turned on CNN or The Weather Channel to see what’s happening, they haven’t been outside yet so it’s a little bit of a process to get them up to speed. But when they do go out and see that there are no flowers started, the ground is still froze, they can’t sit out on the deck and read the paper, check their email, watch the sunrise etc., then things begin to happen. These boys don’t like the cold and when winter starts infringing on their time they get royally cheesed off. Some of them get a little chesty, they’ve been pumping a little iron, eating a little red meat so they puff up some and tend to be touchy as it is. These early risers are more aggressive than the ones sleeping in, they’re the shock troops of spring and they’re kinda looking forward  to a little confrontation with the winter guys. There’s been bad blood between them anyway because of the change over, so soon we have what the Chinese like to call “interesting times”.

That’s why I’m being as careful as I can about what I say and the images I put up right now. I’ve chosen a ‘Still Life’, named because it’s still, not jumping all over the place with excitement and celebration, that is calm and soothing, not too confrontational, letting in a little color, letting these spring guys find their footing as it were, before I start bringing in the ‘Wiggly life” that we all want to see.

Yesterday I may not have been as careful in what I said as I should have been. Maybe I got a little carried away and got affected by sun poisoning, because today when I got up it was snowing again, but really lightly, like the winter guys were kinda losing their stamina. I mean these guys have Got to be getting tired. I think spring is coming on but even so, you got to be careful around them, the winter guys that is, they can still bite you if you don’t watch out. So just a word of warning, if you have to talk about spring, do it quietly amongst yourselves, kind of allude to it rather than being all up in their face with “Hey winter, you suck. You are like so over” and “Hit the road Jack” or ” I can’t wait to get out in my garden again”. Don’t say that one, they really don’t like that one.
Anyway, here’s a still life, wiggly life to follow just as soon as we get rid of those rat-bastard winter guys … Oooh Man, it’s snowing again, Sorry.