Petroglyphs   Monument Valley   Arizona                                                          click to enlarge

Here at The Institute we are all about Art. I mean ‘All About It’. One of the prerequisites of obtaining employment with us is you have to pass a rigid, difficult testing procedure where the prospective employee must be able to pick out art in its many forms wherever it may exist. No multiple choice questions here. They must be able to state “Yes that’s art and here’s why” and be able to write a short 800 page conclusion as to why they think it is art and how it fits into modern life as we live it today. If they can not do this or they choose something that is not art, like maybe a Jackson Pollock painting or anything that needs to be explained at length to be able to understand it, they are immediately rejected, foreheads stamped with a large red “Don’t no Art”  and sent to seek employment with the government or some other soulless place that is primarily decorated in grey.

But that’s not the end of it, no sir, for their final test they are sent out into the world at large with the instructions to find ‘Art’ and bring back proof that it exists. We prefer the actual piece of art itself, that we then keep carefully stored in our climate controlled Art bunker, but on the rare occasion that the prospective employee cannot bring it back due to legal restrictions, or fear of being shot while trying to remove the art, we will accept photographic proof that there is Art there. Photographs must be unaltered and show enough of the surrounding areas to document that it is not ‘Fake Art’ drawn by the prospective employee, or Art copied from a book, or a post card set up on a rock some place to fool us. We know all the tricks, any funny business and it’s off to the government employment office for them.

Recently we had a very good prospect that passed with flying colors all of the testing we could throw at her and as one last hurdle she was sent out into the desert with nothing but an 85 lb. pack and a point and shoot to find art. Her only failing was she took our instructions a little too literally and tried to bring back the carving and most the rock slab it was on. The image above was found on her camera when we went through her personal effects. We can only surmise that her judgment was clouded by her hallucinations and lack of proper hydration. Lesson learned here, don’t try and deface art on public property or tribal lands. It is sad to lose the possibility of a good employee and we marked her application “Passed with Honors” and “She really knew Art but was a little weak on tribal law.” Her application is tacked up on our jobs available bulletin board as an example for all of our employees to emulate, without the defacing part, that is.

Although these requirements may seem harsh to those reading this, we must reiterate that Art is all, and consequently the price we pay for art can be high. But what that means for you, our loyal readers, is that you can rest assured that any images you see here are actual pieces of Art, original, unedited except for maybe some Photoshop stuff we do to make it look better, and best of all free. So enjoy, folks have paid a very high price for us to be able to bring you, Art, in all it’s glory.