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Wakey, wakey, doesn’t that just make you want to puke. It is always said by someone who has managed to get up before you and wants to spread the misery. For those poor souls who can not sleep as late as nature intended  and must get up and face the new dawn, you should not have to listen to someone who says wakey, wakey, especially not from those sadists who also include Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. Consequently I have introduced legislation that will have every single person who says wakey, wakey struck with a hot frying pan filled with eggs and bakey at least twice somewhere about their head and shoulders. Twice, because it usually takes at least that many times before the offender gets the idea that they have offended. The first smack normally feeds into their glee from saying it to you (they know you hate it) and by the second one they realize they’re in deep kimchi. As for the soulless individuals who include the eggs and bakey part, they get their tongues spot welded to the top of their mouth. No three strikes and you’re out crap here. The first time you say it and mean it, out comes the Tig welder.

But it is a fact of life that you do have to get up and unfortunately that usually happens at the exact moment you want to sleep the most. You’re in your favorite position, the pillow is just right, you’re in that spot between deep sleep and wakefulness and the alarm goes off. Or worse yet the devil, the one seen in the paragraph above comes in and says, wait, I’m not even going to say it, but you know what I mean.

Here’s my proposal. Instead of the trauma described previously a soft mellow tone similar to the one heard from a point slightly down the valley from that temple just outside of Kyoto rings once. The one where they ring it early in the morning before the fog has even gently drifted away. The one that echo’s back and forth between the valley walls becoming fainter and fainter. The one whose resonance hangs in the air forever it seems, until it too fades slowly away. It is so beautiful that you want to wake up just to hear it one more time. Then your entire ceiling begins to lighten and the image above, or one like it, begins to appear until your entire room is filled with the magical, glowing light of daybreak. Huh? How about that?  Now you want to get up, if for no other reason than to fire up the welder in case that certain someone hasn’t got the message yet.